Fate's Twisted Whims
by Sakura Onna
Summary: I was born a noble,but spent most of my life on the streets of the Rukongai. I don't know what world I belong to more,but I do know I want to stay with squad 6,with Captain Byakuya Kuchiki. Byakuya/OC rated T but might get forced to change over time AU
1. Chapter 1: Beginnings

Fate's Twisted Whims

a Bleach fanfiction

by: Sakura Onna

A/N: I started writing this almost a year ago after Sakura was born in my mind. I owe it to Sakura that I got my nickname in my school's anime club, and by extension my pen name, by cosplaying as her at the anime club Halloween party. I don't totally know why but I seem to like to give my female mains twisted and painful pasts. Sakura eventually comes to terms with hers and this story is hers told through her eyes. It may seem slow and boring at first as it starts in the past and works its way forward, but I hope it gets better and more interesting as it progresses.

Sakura-Hime: Um... Want to do the honors, Captain Kuchiki?

Byakuya: How about no, mortal?

Sakura-Hime: T.T Sakura?

Sakura: . . . Fine. The one whose name is way too similar to mine owns nothing of Bleach. That belongs to Kubo-sama.

Sakura-Hime: And?

Sakura: (growl) but she does own me, my family, and my life's story. (whispers conspiratorially) almost like we're her slaves.

Sakura-Hime: (grabs zanpakuto) I heard that, you ungrateful little-! (runs toward Sakura)

Byakuya: (sigh) -_-" The things I have to put up with. . . Go read the actual story now, mortals! Nothing to see with those two! (sound of author fighting with her oc in the background) (turns to fighting pair) Will you two knock it off already!

Sakura-Hime and Sakura: (pause in fighting turning to reader) Yeah, go read the story already!

Chapter 1: Beginnings

I don't like remembering my early years that much, but everyone has to look back at what they left behind at some point. Even a shinigami like me. My name is Sakura Hideyori. I was born to a powerful noble family. My family was so powerful that it was on the verge of being called the new fifth great noble family. I was born the third of the four children of Tadakatsu and Ai Hideyori. My father was the captain of squad 10 of the 13 court guard squads, his zanpakuto was the flame type and he was respected by most shinigami of all branches. My siblings were an older brother Hiei, older sister Yume, and younger brother Ranmaru. I can't really remember much of what Hiei was like or much about him period he was so much older than me. Same is true for Yume as will except I can remember that Mom and Dad were trying to find her a husband from one of the four great noble families. I got brought with on one meeting with a potential candidate for Yume, but I think me falling in there koi pond made them change their mind on my sister. I know for sure Dad was extremely mad at me for that. Ranmaru was still young enough that he had problems with his clothes and sandals on a regular basis. Most of my memories of my family are hazy while some stand out with crystal clarity. Of the koi pond incident I only remember the coldness of the water and Dad's anger afterwards for example. Two crystal clear events stand out the most though out of everything, because my life was irrevocably changed forever by them.

The first one was Father's death. While he may not have been a candidate for "father of the year" as mortals seem to put it he was still the center of our lives. . . He had been assigned a mission, that I learned much later was handed to him by the head-captain himself, that teamed him up with members of another squad but with none of his own squad members. I still don't know what that mission had been or how it happened, but he died on it. The men who brought his body home had been of a different squad, that's all I can say about them. . . I remember being in the garden by the blooming trees I share my name with practicing my writing skills just like I was told to when I heard Mother's scream of anguish. I had jumped at the sudden scream to my feet so quickly I knocked over my ink well and spilled ink all over my kimono. I ran to the courtyard as quickly as my legs could carry me and what I saw froze me in place. Mother was on her knees, her face whiter than her under kimono, crying in front of the stretcher on which Father's body lay. Before my eyes could absorb more than that Hiei and Yume turned me away and forcefully held me in place when I tried to turn back around. One stood in front of me, the other behind me, and both put their hands on my shoulders making sure that I couldn't view any more of the proceedings. My mind only absorbed maybe half of what everyone said. Some of what I caught was stuff like: mission, shame he had to die like that, and there was nothing we could do to help. By that point I was numb from head to toe and couldn't have cared less what was said. Even though I was maybe nine or ten by mortal standards of development, I knew things would be a lot harder from that point on because Father wasn't going to be there to guide us anymore. After what felt like a long time Hiei and Yume lead me away from the courtyard back into the garden and we sat on the grassy spot by the small waterfall and koi pond. It was there that I got a glimpse of my reflection; my face was even paler than Mother's which caused the ink that had some how got on my right cheek stand out even more, my eyes were wide with shock, my hair had somehow gotten partly loose from my braid and now hung a bit in my face. In basic if this was ordinary circumstances I would be getting the scolding of my life for how unkempt I looked. We sat there in silence partially leaning on each other with me in the middle for a very long time. I think all of us were mostly just trying to process what had happened, or at least I was. As thoughts raced through my head seeming to set my brain on fire with their speed and intensity, I watched the koi. Their dance like movements seemed to belie the fact Father was dead. How could they just keep swimming around in their pond like nothing happened? Father's funeral was the next day and all the household except for Ranmaru, who was sick, and his nurse were present. I didn't cry until a week later when Ranmaru was well enough to notice Father's absence and comment on it. . .

The second was the night of the fire about one year later. I don't know how the fire started or where, just that I woke up in the dark of night in a cold sweat from a nightmare to smell smoke: a nightmare come to life. It wasn't long until I saw the glow of the flames lapping at my bedroom walls and heard the screams of pain and fear from other parts of the grounds. I tried to throw off my blankets and run, but my legs got tangled up in the bedding. I couldn't do anything but scream myself, clawing at the bedding, and watch as the flames got closer and closer to me. By the time I was freed my eyes were watering and my lungs starting to burn from the smoke and heat. I fled my burning room and blindly ran down the corridors trying to find a way out and calling for help from basically anyone. The rafters burned above my head threatening to collapse at any moment while I ran. Then I made a huge error, one I'm surprised didn't kill me: I found the one and only dead end corridor. As I was about to run back the way I came one of the rafters came crashing down on me, pinning me to the floor. I remember trying to free myself from under it to no avail. The last thought I had had before I lost consciousness was that I didn't want to die yet. . .

I don't know how long I was out cold, but when I woke up I was in a grassy field on my side. My hair was singed to almost a third of its previous length, it hurt slightly to breathe, and I smelled of smoke but other than that I seemed in one piece. There was no sign of any one. I don't know how I got out of the fire alive but apparently I did. The mansion, or what should be the charred remains, were nowhere in sight nor were anything else I recognized. Looks like I'm in the middle of nowhere, and I guess I'll just have to pick a direction, start walking and see what I find. It's over a mile before I see anyone and by then my bare feet are extremely tender. The mode of dress of the first person I saw made me inwardly cringe they were clearly someone that belonged to the Rukongai with their rough, dirty clothes. As I got reluctantly closer I could see it was a kid maybe slightly older than me and they were just as filthy as their clothes. I couldn't help it my nose scrunched up in disgust at the smell before I could even think of the reaction. By then the kid, I couldn't tell if it was a boy or girl with all the dirt and grime, had noticed me and the look on my face. If I had known the kid would scream at me and chase me I would never have tried to go near them. Fear gripped my heart as I ran for my life from them as they shouted at me in a stream of obscenities. My heart was pounding hard enough that I missed most of what they yelled, but what I did hear was along the lines of: "Wat' a d*** rich b**** doin' her! Wat can' stan' 'e smel b****! Gat 'e 'ell autta her! Ain't notin' for 'ur kind her! Ah catcha Ah'll turn ya ta dog meat!" I got away from them, but at a price. By the time I stopped running my feet were more than just sore, they were cut and bleeding. I did what I could to bandage them with stripes of the sleep kimono. It was a poor substitute for the care I would have gotten at home but it was the best I could do.

Too bad that wouldn't be the only time my feet bled in my days of wandering that followed. Over time I came to learn what the signs of those best avoided were and how to steal whatever I could to survive. I learned that the place I now lived within was the Rukongai and very different from where I was born. I came to basically call west Rukongai #79 my stomping ground even though there were many groups of other orphans that would hate to hear me call it that. I came to learn to not even bother trying to join any of the groups of orphans that live and work together in any part of the Rukongai: all they would do is drive me off, and if they caught me beat me half to death. The adults were just as bad if not worse than the kids, some of them even went as far as suggesting I find work lying on my back or any other position a man would want to put me in! Ew! Some even tried to force me, but I always fought them off. I can't say exactly when it started but by the second winter of being on my own in this harsh world that was now my constant reality and nightmare, hunger was my constant companion. Hunger was something that wasn't supposed to happen in the Rukongai or anywhere else in the soul society, a world of spirits, so I didn't know what to do at first, but I learned that eating was more than just a habit: it made the hunger go away for a time. After a series of failed attempts at stealing food from the ordinary locals I was driven to try something that would be considered madness. I was driven to try stealing for the Shiba clan's storehouse.

Somehow the getting in part was easy. I got past the boars and slipped into the storehouse with ease. Seeing the food-stores I scarf down more than a handful of things I can't remember later with minimal chewing then grab as much food as I can carry and run for the door. Wouldn't do me any good to waste to much time and really risk getting caught. Too bad for me as I come out of the storehouse, a man comes around the back of the Shiba house. He yells something and I take off running. Even though I run as fast as I can he catches up to me without showing any sign of exertion. Not good. As he moves to grab me I swing my leg out tripping him. The next thing I know, though, I'm on the ground myself and he has me pinned down. I lost my hold on the food on the way down which left my arms empty at my sides. As I raise one of my arms to hit him I say something I don't remember and lightning shoots out of my hand. I can't say if I hit anything or not because I fainted right after that moment I saw his eyes widen in surprise.

---------------------------

A/N: That's it for now. Who is it that Sakura just got in a fight with? What happens to our little noblewoman turned peasant next? What was it that she really did right before she fainted? Answers to these questions and a few more next chapter! Review if you like or hate this story so far please! Yeah I know Byaku don't appear in this chapter but I thought it would be fun to use him with the disclaimer anyways. ^_^ The pair is going to be Byakuya/Sakura after all. And don't worry about her out look on things and them getting together: what I wrote for this chapter and at least the next one are still when she's a kid. Byakuya and Sakura meet when she's all grown up so lots can happen between now in the story and that point. ^_^


	2. Chapter 2: Changes

Fate's Twisted Whims

a Bleach fanfiction

Written by: Sakura Onna

A/N: Here we are chapter 2. Things start to look up a bit for our little noble turned peasant, but for how long? Well read and see.

disclaimer:

Sakura-Hime: Please?

Byakuya: NO! I am not going to do the disclaimer! It's beneath me as a nobleman!

Sakura-Hime: (puppy dog eyes) Please? Do you want me to get banned from this site and get in deep trouble with the law?

Byakuya: -_-" No? Why not ask Kaien?! He's in this d*** chapter!

Sakura-Hime: O.o Did you just swear at me? The author?

Byakuya: :( Yes! Now leave me the h*** alone! I have work to attend to, woman!

Sakura-Hime: (narrows eyes and reaches for hair-dye) Looks like I'm going to have to make your hair the same shade as Yachiru's to teach you some respect for us mortal authors. I'm sure she'll enjoy that.

Byakuya: O.o" NO! SAKURA! A LITTLE HELP HERE!

Sakura: Sorry, Captain Kuchiki, but I can't raise a finger to Sakura-Hime this chapter or she'll do something equally mean to me. My suggestion is do the stupid disclaimer since you're the one she wants to do it this time.

Byakuya: :( Fine d*** it! This author that loves to torture us and make us seem more like you mortals doesn't own any of us real Bleach characters! She does however own Sakura because she created her! NOW PUT THAT STUFF AWAY!

Sakura-Hime: ^_^ (Lets go of hair dye) Thank you, Byakuya! Was that so hard?

Byakuya: :( Leave me alone for the rest of this chapter.

Sakura-Hime: No guaranties! Now on to the story!

Byakuya: :( Just get the h*** out of my office then! (shoves author out the door and slams it)

Sakura: O.o" I think you really p. him today.

Sakura-Hime: O.o" agreed . . .

Chapter 2: Changes

When I regain consciousness I am inside a building, though what one I have no idea. Someone had put me in a real bed, the kind I haven't seen since that night of fire, and done something that I can no longer comprehend. Someone had tended to the injures I got earlier when I was attacked by another group of orphan kids and my feet that had reopened in my running from that man. I knew they had reopened from how badly they hurt. Where am I? Why did someone do this? In the Rukongai, especially in the higher numbered districts like #79 in any of the four directions, everyone was out to make sure of their own survival. It didn't matter to most if they had to kill to do so, even if it was just a kid like me . . . I look around the room the bed is in sitting up a bit on one elbow. The walls seem bare of decoration or anything else to add to their look besides blank whiteness. The ceiling is also kinda white and bland. So I turn my eyes to the floor. That is somewhat more interesting with the wood grains to it but other than that it's blank and bland too. It almost seemed like the room was lifeless and had never received the personal touch of anyone since it was built however long ago that was. As I turn to stare disinterested to the ceiling again laying back onto my bruised back, I hear voices coming closer: two voices, a man and a woman based on the tone difference. When the voices are close enough that I can make out some of the words the shoji screen slides open.

"Oh! You're awake!" says a handsome, not going to call her beautiful or pretty because those are words I would use to describe my mother and sister, woman as she enters the room carrying a tray laden with food.

My mouth waters at the smell of the food and I eye it for a moment before I raise them to look at her suspiciously. What was she trying to pull? I say nothing as I sit back up.

"We were a little worried that you would never awaken again with how long you were unconscious, little one. To think you could use Hado # 4 Byakurai, also known as Pale Lightning, without the incantation in your weakened state!" she says in what sounds like genuine admiration as she set the tray beside the bed. "Usually only high ranked and powerful shinigami can do a feat such as that."

I inch away from her even though I want to pounce on that food so badly. My stomach rumbles in protest of me distancing myself from such good smelling food. How long had it been since I actually ate anything cooked and hot? I can't remember. Still no words leave my mouth.

The woman notices my retreat and puts her hands on her hips."That's enough of that, little one! If we wanted you dead or hurt we would have just done so while you were defenseless. What would we gain from such action anyways?"

"I take it she's finally awake, Miyako?" The man from earlier asked as he enters the room. His spiky black hair seems to be standing even more on end than before. Or is that just me? Either way, I stiffen at the sight of him and move further back on the bed almost to the point of half hanging off the far edge.

The woman, Miyako, rounds on the man and glares at him in clear disapproval, "Now look what you've done, Kaien! She was clearly about to come for the food and you come here and spook her off!"

The man, Kaien, scratches the back of his neck in embarrassment and looks at me," I'm sorry about earlier, little one. If I'd known it was hunger that made you try to steal from us I wouldn't have acted like that."

'Like that makes much of a difference.' I think as I continue to eye the pair distrustfully.

"It's obvious you have a lot of untapped power within you and a lot of potential. You being able to use real Kido at your age is proof of that. Most Rukongai kids in your age group are able to form orbs of their spirit energy at most, but there are still a lot more that can't do anything with their spirit energy because it's so weak." He continues to say as he ignores my distrustful gaze.

'So what?! Stop toying with me and leave me alone already!' I silently scream at him, my gaze slowly becoming a glare.

"Anyways . . . Eat up, rest and regain your strength. When you're well enough there's something I wanta ask ya." He says as he moves to leave. Before he walks out the door he turns back and says, "The food isn't poisoned or anything like that. A Shiba would never stoop that low to harm or kill someone, especially when they're as young as you."

I remain silent as I watch him leave, and for some reason I find myself believing his words. I slowly inch forward on the bed now toward the food and Miyako, watching her to see if she would be as cruel as some people in the past and snatch the food away the moment I go to take it. She does nothing though but smile in encouragement. After I got to it and started to carefully munch on it she starts telling me a bunch of stories about various things. I listen as I eat but stay silent. Her voice is gentle and she only tells tales that are nice and sweet, the kind told to small children everywhere. The type of stories that don't prepare anyone for the harsh reality of the real world, but for whatever reason hearing those stories told in that gentle voice was soothing for me. It almost made me fell like I was back before the night of the fire and listening to Yume, my older sister, when she told me stories like that. I put down the soup and the chopsticks as tears start to silently roll down my cheeks. Miyako stays in the room with me until I fall asleep. She kept a distance from me the entire time as if she read my desire to not be touched in my mind.

A few days pass in similar style before it feels like I've healed enough to be able to be up and about. It's as I'm exploring the house that I ran into a boy close to Ranmaru's age, or I should say the age he would be if he'd survived the fire. I have to say he kinda reminded me of a monkey already with his appearance. He took one look at me in the clothes I had gotten from Miyako, and ran in the opposite direction yelling some one's name I didn't recognize. I had no idea what to do when that happened. I'm always the one doing the running away not someone else. To put it plainly I just stand there in the corridor looking flat out confused for a good twenty minutes. The next day I spoke my first words to Kaien and Miyako to ask about the monkey boy as I dubbed him. They seem amused by that as they explain that was Kaien's younger brother Ganju. Then they told me about Kaien's younger sister Kukaku as well and her fireworks. Later that day I explore again and find a weird room that smells like black powder and other things I can't name til later. Sitting at a work bench in that room is a woman older than me, but maybe a little younger than Yume, who is hunched over working on something that looked like a bunch of powders. She doesn't look up from her work until I'm practically standing looking over her shoulders.

"What do you want brat?" she snaps as she looks away from her work that seemed like mixing different powders together.

I clamp my mouth shut and back away at her tone which was the same one adults in the Rukongai used before they tried to beat me for coming too close to them or sometimes even just looking at them. My eyes widen and my legs tense preparing to run at the smallest sign of a threat.

She notices and lets out a groan and face palms, "You're the kid Big Brother caught stealing from the store house, the one who can already use Kido and he won't shut up about. The only other person I've ever heard him talk about so d*** much was his wife Miyako when they were courting. Ugh! Nothing like your older brother coming to you constantly asking for advice on women."

"Miyako and Kaien are married?" For some reason that thought had never crossed my mind before.

She slowly removed her hand from her face to look at me and gave me a small smile." Yeah. What they didn't tell you that?"

I shook my head.

She started laughing then and smiled more widely, "I bet you haven't hear much about me either then. I'm Kukaku Shiba and I'm gonna be the best pyrotechnic specialist in west Rukongai!"

This was the sister I was told about just yesterday. "Sakura. What are you doing?"

"Sakura? What no family name?"

I'm silent for a while as I think. My trust level in these strangers is still not high enough that it feels safe to say anything about my family. "It's best I don't say it."

A shriek escapes me as Kukaku jumps up from the work bench and captures me in a head lock. Self-preservation instinct takes hold and I try to break free.

"Oi! Knock it off! I'm not gonna hurt ya kid."

Next thing I know I'm being plopped on the bench next to Kukaku as she sits back down. She releases me but shivers of fear still run through me. Kukaku goes back to mixing powders carefully reaching around me in a way that was meant to make it feel like I wasn't trapped by the taller girl. She starts to explain that she was making a new batch of powder to go in her newest firework. She explains each of the ingredients and its purpose: black powder for heat and propulsion, copper chloride for blue coloring, a bit in one spot of calcium chloride for orange, a strange ball shaped thing she calls a star filled with barium chloride for green. Now my eyes are wide in wonder and my fear was forgotten. Kukaku burned a few of the odd powders to show me the colors she was talking about and by the time Miyako came looking for me I was joining in on making the fireworks and having actual real fun for the first time in so long I couldn't even remember. Another time when I was exploring I ran into Shiroganehiko and Koganehiko, the giant twins that served the Shibas, and though their shear size intimidated me at first, I came to learn they were mostly gentle giants unless they caught me braking some rule then they'd throw a rather amusing to watch hissy fit.

Somehow Kukaku figured out what colors I like best from her little demonstration and from then on when I would go to her work room she would let me use the compounds that made those colors almost exclusively. A few accidents occurred now and than and Kaien would get on both our cases for it since there tended to big loud explosions, lots of smoke, weakening to the walls and foundation and a lot of other stuff. He-he, everyone knew every time one of us made a mistake because of that. Kukaku and I became friends over working with fireworks. Miyako treated me no different than Kukaku and as such, as a little sister. Ganju stayed afraid of me and tended to stare at me like a strange animal for a long time, almost a good six months. Kaien, Miyako, and Kukaku all got after him for staring at me like that so many times I lost count. I don't really blame him for it, I probably did look pretty feral in those early days, and I know it did feel like it in my mind. As I started to relearn that there really are kind hearted people in this world and how to interact with them in a civilized way, my psychological wounds began to close and heal, and I learned skills that have saved my life many times since.

A little over a year went by since my attempted thievery when Kaien finally asked the thing he had mentioned he wanted to ask the first time I woke up in the Shiba house. He called everyone into a meeting before dinner, and I mean everyone Shiroganehiko and Koganehiko were also there, so everyone would know what was up. Naturally I was the last to arrive. When I came into the room all eyes turned on me. Ganju's eyes have a look of disbelief in them and his jaw was slack, Miyako gave me one of her gentle smiles and seems pleased with something, Kukaku was grinning from ear to ear and had that look in her eyes that I associated with "I got a new idea for a fireworks recipe and I'm gonna try it out in the house", the twins looked like they were about to cry which kinda creeps me out since they were grown men, and Kaien looked the calmest but also most serious of the assembly. What was going on?

"Sakura, you look much better now than you did a year ago,"

"Yeah. That's 'cause I am better. I haven't felt this good since . . . For a while, and I haven't had this many people I felt I can trust in just as long." A wave of sadness rolls through me as I think of the night of the fire and the lose of my family causing me to pause before I had continued.

Kaien nods in understanding of the pain left unsaid and continues solemnly, "I have already asked everyone what they think of what I am going to ask you and none object. Sakura, would you like to be a Shiba?"

The meaning of his question eludes me for a few moments but as I recall some of the things Kukaku has said one possible meaning comes to my mind. "If you're asking me to become your second wife, you can go jump off the highest bridge in the soul society."

He hit me on the head the same way he does Kukaku and Ganju when they do something wrong or really stupid. "Idiot! I'm asking if you want to be my, Kukaku, and Ganju's sister! Besides you're too young for me and Miyako would severely injure me if I tried that."

Miyako hit Kaien in the arm making him rub that spot in mock pain before turning to me. "So what do ya say, Sakura? Do you want to join this crazy family?"

I was stunned. Sure Kaien, Kukaku, and Ganju were around the ages of my brothers and sister and I like the three of them and Miyako, but to actually call them my brothers and sisters feels odd even in my mind. Was it right? I want a family and a place to call home more than anything else, but it feels like if I become a Shiba and take that name that I'm casting off my blood family like an old, dirty, and torn beyond repair kimono. Like casting off the Hideyori name into the rubbish heap just like yesterday's trash and abandoning and disrespecting my ancestors. I am torn. I want to have living people here with me to call family but I didn't want to throw away what I really am. What do I do?

"Would I have to give up the name of the family I was born to?"

Kaien did not look pleased at my question but apparently could see that I was thinking and wanted to know because it would affect my choice. He was silent for a long moment before he spoke, "If you would be happier carrying that name, you could keep it as long as you still call us family I suppose."

I brightened almost instantly making a choice. "I would like to call you my brothers and sisters, but I will keep the Hideyori name out of respect of my ancestors and lost family."

And so I become the fourth Shiba sibling but without the official name.

Years go by and every now and then Kaien sneaks me into Squad 13's barracks, which he could get in big trouble for if his captain wasn't so nice. I meet some of his fellow squad members as well as his captain, Jushiro Ukitake. Every one of the squad 13 members I meet are nice to me and are always like "so you're the little sister Vice-Captain Shiba is always talking about . . . " Ukitake and I become friends almost instantly when we meet for the first time. I watch and listen to the activities of the squad, ask questions about things I don't understand, and sometimes get involved with things going on like members training on one of the practice fields or something to that effect because of this interaction with people in a functioning squad I start learning about being a shinigami and their duties before I even enter the Academy. Often times when Kaien sneaks me into Squad 13's barracks I either tail Kaien most of the day or I tail Ukitake though when I can't follow either of them because of a captains meeting or vice-captains meeting I tend to sit on the edge of the lake Ukitake's house is in the middle of or on the bridge that leads to his house. One would think that with me almost drowning once in a koi pond would be enough to make me phobic of deep bodies of water but for some reason I'm not. . .

I enter the Academy after I pass the entrance exam with a bit less than flying colors about twentyish years after that night of fire I do my best not to think too deeply on. Later after I graduate I learn I entered the Academy either a year or two after Rukia Kuchiki, Renji Abari, Momo Hinamori, and Izuru Kira did. I am one of those students who pays attention, keeps quiet, and answers a question when asked something, but I still even with the good, nondisruptive behavior get picked on by the sons and daughters of noble families just like any of the other Rukongai students. I do my best to ignore them since they're right to a degree as I seem to carry a stronger scent of the Rukongai on me than my noble birth. Besides that I keep my blood as much of a secret as I can from everyone in case it was an enemy of the family or something to that effect that set the blaze. I do know some clans hate and fight against other clans constantly. I don't hang my head in shame at the taunts and jeers though. If anything they push me harder to prove myself without the dropping of names whether it's the Shiba name or my father's it don't matter. I want to pass, graduate, and become a member of the 13 courtguard squads on my own like my father did. Zanjutsu and Kido are my strongest classes. In Zanjutsu I can even take on the instructor and last over an hour by the time I am a third year and that is normally something only sixth years can do. I remember hearing tales of Renji almost blowing everything to smithereens the first time he tried doing one fire based Kido and Rukia's adoption to the Kuchiki family and stuff like that on a daily basis when I walk down the halls. I don't pay attention to the gossip much no matter who it is doing so usually. Somewhere along the line I made friends with one guy in my class whose really a wimp and gets picked on a lot named Ryuku Ryona. He can't use a Zanpakuto well for fighting purposes or offensive Kido, but he has really good and strong healing Kido. Ryuku would obviously be a member of Squad 4 after graduation. After we become friends though, he kinda starts following me around like a lost puppy and develops a bit of a habit of trying to use me as a bodyguard/human shield. Needless to say the guy gets on my nerves ever now and then . . .

-----------------------------------------------------------

A/N: This feels like a good spot to cut this chapter. Next chapter well another big drop for Sakura and changes in her situation. Please review if you like it. Please review if you don't like it as well. I would like to hear the thoughts of those reading this story no matter what they are. Also as a side note this story was originally hand written out as one long document so I'm just going by feel for when to say a chapter starts and stops. Also feel free to suggest side characters to come up in situations with Sakura or a few filler events or anything like that. If you do I just might put your suggested person or subplot event into a later chapter. ;) And feel free to ask me to go in more detail over different things. 8 page chapter! Woot!

Til next chapter!

~Sakura-Hime


	3. Chapter ?: Hideyori Christmas

Fate's Twisted Whims

a Bleach fanfiction

Written by: Sakura Onna

disclaimer:

Sakura-Hime: Will you do the honors this time, Sakura?

Sakura: You're gonna make me even if I say no aren't you?

Sakura-Hime: -_- Not this time. It's your choice.

Sakura: O.o Are you feeling okay?

Sakura-Hime: -_- Yeah.

Byakuya: O.o You sure about that?

Sakura-Hime: Yeah -_- Just feel like being nice to you guys for a change.

Byakuya: O.o" (whispers to Sakura) Did she get a hold of something?

Sakura: (whispers back) No. I heard from Ryuku-kun that she got in a fight with a friend about two weeks ago, and that they aren't friends any more now because of it.

Byakuya: Oh. =(

Sakura: (continues to whisper) Yeah it does make sense with how she's been lately.

Byakuya: (whispers back) She maybe a little mean now and then but that isn't enough to warrant dumping her as a friend. She maybe a little mercenary once in a while but for the most part she's super loyal to her friends and would gladly fight to protect them.

Sakura-Hime: That's enough you two! Quit messing my private life up with what should be public information!

Byakuya: =( Just trying to show you got people you can talk to that wouldn't think bad of you for it.

Sakura: (looking concerned) Yeah. You been different lately.

Sakura-Hime: Shut up!!!! I'll do the damn disclaimer myself!!!!! I don't own jack from the Bleach universe except for Ryuku, the Hideyoris, and all the other ocs in this story!!!!!!!!

A/N: Just to warn everyone in advance this is a chapter back before the fire that left Sakura orphaned and is in third person. This is back before Sakura is old enough to form many permanent memories and before the youngest of the Hideyoris, Ranmaru, was born. I was in a bit of a mood to write a holiday special and this was the only one of my stories I could try that with. I will give a little bit of a spoiler with this but I'm in the mood to get some of the relationships between some of the older shinigami and the Hideyori family actually out there. And no I didn't feel like doing a one shot for this.

-----------

Chapter ?: Hideyori Christmas

Jushiro Ukitake and Shunsui Kyoraku sat watching their best friend and fellow captain, Tadakatsu Hideyori's, three children run around the garden in the fresh snow. The eldest, the only boy so far, Hiei was going wild and dumping arm loads of snow on his little sisters. Sakura squealed in protest when Hiei put a handful down the back of her kimono and ran over to the two watching captains to try to use them as human shields. Sakura crawled into Ukitake's lap and clung to his captain's haori forcing him to move his tea mug out of the way prompting Kyoraku into a fit of laughter at the startled look on Ukitake's face. Yume looked at Sakura and was surprised abit at just how small their little sister was still, even though if she was a mortal she would be about five years old, Sakura didn't even reach Ukitake's throat with the top of her head. A wave of anger at Hiei's picking on the smallest member of the family swept through Yume and she threw a bunch of snowballs at her brother's head on Sakura's behalf. Hiei chucked a snowball right back at her and pegged her in the shoulder.

As the snowball fight erupted between the older children Kyoraku and Ukitake talked over the top of Sakura's head.

"So what do you think Tadakatsu's next one's going to be, Ukitake?" Kyoraku asked casually then took a sip from his sake cup.

Ukitake glanced at his long time friend from the corner of his eye, "I'm not sure. What do you think your younger sibling is going to be, Sakura-chan?" a small smile tugged at his lips as the little girl tilted her head back to look up at him. Sakura had her father's deep blue expressive eyes and her mother's light brown hair, and her eyes were showing surprise at being asked her opinion. Ukitake knew that Tadakatsu generally did his best to keep the girl silent and was trying to suppress the intelligent mind the child had from independent thought. Ukitake also knew that Tadakatsu didn't think well of his youngest daughter even though she showed such great potential.

"I think Mommy's gonna have a boy, Take-nii-san..." Sakura said slowly carefully watching Ukitake closely for his reaction.

Ukitake's smile widened and he ruffled her long hair to show approval of her answer," Is that so, Sakura-chan? Well I think you have a very good chance at being right."

Kyoraku rolled his eyes, "Come on, Ukitake. You know you don't have to patronize the girl like that. Tadakatsu's just gonna put her back in that quiet state of hers the moment he returns and finds her talking freely again. Besides with two girls in a row I have to say that the one on the way is more than likely a girl as well."

Anger flared in Ukitake at Kyoraku's words. "If you're that strong in your belief that Tadakatsu and Ai are going to have another daughter then why don't we make things interesting."

Kyoraku choked a bit on the sake he was just starting to swallow. After his fit of coughing subsided he looked at Ukitake incredulously, "Are you proposing a bet?! That's not like you, Ukitake."

"If you're going to talk down about Sakura-chan then yes. I don't want to see her turned into a robot by her father so I'm going to do everything I can think of to encourage her to be opinionated and to think for herself." Ukitake said fiercely. "How can you even turn your back on the favoritism he shows?"

"Sake helps," Kyoraku said jokingly to poke fun at Ukitake's uptight mood. "Come on, Ukitake. Tada ain't your old man. Besides it's his business how he raises his kids. Relax for a change. I mean you got the kid in question in your lap right now and you being so up tight at the moment can't be that good for her. Aren't ya gonna give 'er that thing you got from the human world for 'er? :hick:"

"You're already drunk, you know that?"

Sakura stared at the grown men as they argued. She had know them for as long as her young mind could remember and they had always argued over different things. Her father tended to come up at multiple points in them. Sakura couldn't quite understand everything they talked over but she could clearly understand that Kyo-nii-san had said something about Take-nii-san getting her a gift from the world of the living. What could he have gotten her from there that couldn't be gotten here? Was it a doll? Candy? A book with a bunch of pictures in it again? A writing set? Some small trinket? A stone? A plant? Curiousity made her eyes big and round. She wanted to know what he got her! Sakura's small hands grabbed part of one of the sleeves of Ukitake's captain haori and she tugged on it to get his attention.

"Take-nii-san!" Sakura tugged on his sleeve again, her deep blue eyes glittered with her excitement and curiousity. Ukitake's brown eyes looked down at her in question.

"Yes, Sakura-chan?

"What did you get from the world of the living that Kyo-nii-san was talking about?"

Ukitake gave a small laugh and smiled. He reached into the sleeve Sakura hadn't been tugging on and pulled out a small box with colorful paper wrapping on it, "Well, why would I say what it is and ruin the surprise? Granted Shunsui did a decent job of that himself....."

Sakura squealed in excitement and grabbed for the box only to have it pulled out of her reach causing her to face plant on the floor. "Whoa! Wait a little bit. Do you know why I got you this gift, Sakura-chan?"

"No." Sakura pouted as she raised her face from the floor.

"In the world of the living there is a holiday around this time of the year called Christmas. On it good little boys and girls are given presents. When I was last sent to the world of the living and heard of it I thought you fit that category quite well and earned yourself a Christmas present."

Sakura looked up at Ukitake with doubtful eyes then looked at the present with longing," Can I have it now, Take-nii-san, or am I going to have to wait for Daddy to come home first?"

Ukitake sighed then handed her the present which she proceeded to tear into. "Tadakatsu is making you grow up faster than you should, Sakura-chan."

Sakura dug into the colorful wrapping paper and pieces of it started to fly everywhere attracting the attention of Yume and Hiei. Soon the box was bare of its wrappings and Sakura turned it this way and that trying to figure out how to open it. Hiei, with his short, spiky, jet black hair and olive green eyes, crept up to the veranda on which Ukitake, Kyoraku, and Sakura sat trying to get a better look at what his little sister had in her hands and getting himself to a place that would make it easier to snatch it from her if it caught his fancy. Yume, with her long reddish-brown hair and blue-green eyes, moved to a position that would allow her to block Hiei if he tried to steal Sakura's gift. The box itself was simple in design and made of carved cherry wood with a flower and tree design carved into it. It was a small jewelry box big enough for a few necklaces or bracelets. Sakura oblivious to her older siblings proximity found the catch on the box and pressed it. Inside the box at the bottom lay a small chain with a few charms on it. Sakura lifted the chain out and examined the charms, one was a cherry blossom fully in bloom, another a snowflake with a glittery stone in the middle, another was a tree without flower nor leaf as if caught in the dead of winter, and the fourth was completely made of the glittery stone and carved in the likeness of a tiger. Sakura and her siblings' eyes were wide in wonder as they looked upon the gift. The chain was much too small to be a necklace and too big to possibly stay on Sakura's slender wrist so it couldn't be a bracelet.

"What is it, Ukitake-san?" Yume asked voicing her younger sister's question. "It can't be a necklace because it's too small and it can't be a bracelet because it's too big for her."

"It's an anklet, Yume-chan." Ukitake took the anklet from Sakura and clasped it around her right ankle. Sakura twisted her foot this way and that to look at it. "It's meant to be worn like that."

"Anything for me and Yume, Ukitake-taicho or are you going to be a fascist and only give something to the runt?" Hiei glared at the older male almost daring him to say so.

Kyoraku barked out a laugh and slapped the boy's back pitching him forward a bit, "First off, Hiei-kun, that is the wrong context to use fascist in, and second only those deemed to be good and nice children get presents at this time of year. You don't really fall into that category with how much you pick on your sisters in Ukitake's book so he didn't get you anything."

Ukitake glared at Kyoraku, "Thanks alot, Shunsui! Be glad that you aren't going to get any of the traditional ways bad children are treated, Hiei-kun. Depending what part of the world you look at there are different things that happen to the naughty ones. In some parts all they get is a lump of coal, another they get their bottoms smacked with a switch, and in some parts it is even said that there is a spirit that will carry off the naughty children and they will never be seen again."

"Humph. It that was the case, you, Shunsui, and Tadakatsu would have been carried off years ago, Jushiro. With the way the three of you were back at the Academy you would have all ended up on that list." The deep old voice of the head captain as he stepped on to the verandah with a thump of his staff. "What one of you couldn't think of the other two did I swear."

"Ojii-san!" Sakura raced forward and wrapped both arms around head captain Yamamoto's legs a huge grin spread across her face. She let go of his legs and twisted her right leg to show off her new anklet. "Look what Take-nii-san gave me!"

A deep laugh rumbled in Yamamoto's chest at the small girl's excitement and energy. "A very nice gift."

Ai hedged at the doorway to the house watching her children and her husband's friends talk and interact. Her olive green eyes were troubled. Sakura was rather bold and friendly when it came to the three captains sitting on the verandah with her and her siblings. The child seemed to fit into the shinigami relations much too easily for Ai's liking. She had allowed her son to enter the Academy and start training to be a member of the thirteen court guard squads because it was expected that Hiei would follow in his father's footsteps and that it would teach him more discipline, but she would never allow another of her children to go there. Things were hard enough with her husband always coming and going because of his duties to his squad and leaving her and their children without him. Ai would rather die before she'd see either of her daughters enter that dangerous line of work. She couldn't count the number of times she had lain awake at night worried that something had happened to Tadakatsu or her son. She didn't want either of her daughters to be wed off to a shinigami either. She didn't want them to know her constant worry and fear for her husband and son. Ai knew though that Tadakatsu had other plans though. He was already trying to nagotiate with various noble families that were of higher standing than theirs and had sons that were members of the thirteen court guard squads to marry Yume. Ai was also very aware of Tadakatsu's extreme and irrational dislike of their younger daughter and of the buises on Sakura's back from him. Ai knew of the not so rare beatings the child got but knew as well she had not the power to make him stop. How Sakura could still act fairly normal and be so open and trusting was beyond her. Ai placed her hand on her swollen belly over her unborn child. She feared for this child as well and hoped it was a son as that might help with Tadakatsu's behavior toward their daughters. She hoped he would mellow toward them and not be so harsh.

"Mommy, are you okay?" Sakura tugged on her mother's skirt as she asked staring up with concerned eyes so like the color of her father's.

Ai just nodded and pasted a false smile on her face and joined the group to play the role she had done countless times in her marriage, that of the happy housewife and hostess to her guests, like the expert actor she had become.

Yamamoto watched Ai with a critical eye as she made pleasant talk with everyone and how she interacted with her children. He had often found himself thinking of Ukitake, Kyoraku and Tadakatsu as if they were his own sons and by extension he found himself thinking of Tadakatsu's family as if they were his own. He noticed how Ai was careful of Sakura's back when she was near the child and the girl's winces of discomfort when any one touched her back. They weren't that noticable but the keen and observant eyes of the old man caught each and every one. Was Tadakatsu's anger issues being directed at the girl? She didn't have any visable injures but, knowing Tadakatsu the way he did, he wouldn't be careless enough to make it that obvious. Yamamoto could sense the strength of Sakura's spirit and knew she would have a great deal of spiritual power when she was older, perhaps more than enough to become a captain. If she learned how to control her strength she would be a good shinigami if she chose that path. He knew if Ukitake could he'd instantly take in the girl as his own. It didn't take a genious to see _that_. Yamamoto had seen clearly that Ukitake had treasured Sakura as if she was his own daughter or younger sister from the day she was born. Yamamoto couldn't say much either, the girl was like a granddaughter to him. . .

* * *

If they had known then that this day would fade from her memory as Sakura grew older dispair may have spread through all their hearts. Yamamoto, Ukitake and Kyoraku always remembered the younger daughter of their friend every day. When the fire destroyed the Hideyori home and there was no sign that any one had survived besides a few of the lucky servents their greif was great. Some of them looked for a while for the bright eyed girl they loved but eventually gave up hope that she had survived. Those three weren't the only ones that felt that grief though. There was another that had only met her once that fell into the same deep pit. He eventually married but he never really forgot those deep blue eyes and light brown hair.

* * *

A/N: I know this isn't quite the fluffiest of writing but I hope it showed the relationships of some the shinigami and family members clearly enough and brings the personallity of some of the Hideyori characters more to life a bit. This is my semi-dark holiday gift to all of you who read this that's a couple days late. I hope you liked it! Whether you did or didn't please leave me a review though! Anyone can leave one not just members of FF so there is really no excuse for you not to. I would like to hear from as many people as possible. And animechick247 I will do my best to get at least a little Byakuya moment in the next chapter for you so don't give up hope! I will still try to find spots for reader suggested moments or character appearences so give me your thoughts! Also anyone that can guess the meaning of any of the charms on Sakura's anklet gets a batch of cookies!

Til next chapter!

~Sakura-Hime


	4. Chapter 3: Academy

Fate's Twisted Whims

a Bleach fan fiction

by: Sakura Onna

A/N: sorry this is so much slower getting out compared to the last chapter (chapter 2) but things are gonna get changed up a bit. I sat down and compared the flow of this to one of my other stories I'm writing and I realized why this one isn't flowing quite as well. Events are now gonna be a bit slower in happening now so I can add more details and part of the time line for this chapter has shifted a bit to allow a reader request of a character appearance to occur. Yes, animechick247, I am putting in a little Byakuya ahead of schedule just for you! Be warned though that he doesn't hold that much of a major role yet and will seem like a side character for a while. This chapter I'm backing things up a bit and going a little more in depth with Sakura's years in the Shinigami Academy to help you guys out with the time line of the story over all, and work through a kinda key time for Sakura. Also, I'll be changing things to third person from now on to make things easier a bit on me. I will still be showing mostly Sakura's POV though for now. For Pearlyn since you asked for Sakura reuniting or being recognized by Ukitake and Kyoraku I'll be adding a bit of that to here. It's only going to be Ukitake though because Kyoraku gets to have his reunion after she's out of the Academy while Ukitake's is before then.

disclaimer:

Sakura-Onna: (glances at Byakuya but remembers what happened last chapter before the holiday chapter)

Byakuya: (glare) What?

Sakura-Onna: Nothing! Sakura?

Sakura: (hastily taking notes from textbook) No. Must study.

Sakura-Onna: Ryuku?

Ryuku: (smiling and showing peace sign) This authoress does not own any Bleach, just me, Sakura, and her other numerous OCs!

Sakura: Stop goofing off, Ryuku-kun! You got a test to study for just like me!

Byakuya: (looks at reader blandly) Just read the story already.

Chapter 3: Academy

Sakura yawned and stretched as she followed Kaien toward squad thirteen's barracks. It was still rather early in the day and the sun hadn't even fully risen yet. Why he was taking her with him today and so early was a mystery to her. She stumbled over a rock as she started to doze as she walked. Pain shot up her big toe as she regained her balance. She paused to put her foot on a fairly good sized rock to examine it. The charm anklet on her ankle clinked a bit as she moved her foot. She came to the conclusion that she had only stubbed her toe when she stumbled nothing worse and moved as quick as she could to catch up to Kaien who hadn't stopped to wait for her. Her anklet clinked with every step she took.

"Hey! Wait up, big brother!" Sakura called to Kaien who pretended not to hear her. "Hey! What the heck is so important that I have to come along with you!"

When Sakura caught up Kaien finally stopped and acknowledged that he heard her. "You said you wanted to know what being a shinigami's like and the best way I could think of was to bring you with to see my squad. I know the captain's nice enough to not raise a stink about a kid hanging around like some of them would. He used to sort of look after one of the other captain's kid once awhile ago. I also thought you being around for the day at least might be enough to put a smile on some of the squad members' faces while giving you some valuable lessons at the same time."

"That's it?" Sakura yawned again. "Couldn't you have just used words to describe everything or woken me up later than you did at least?"

Kaien tapped her on the head, "Nope. Not good enough in either case."

Sakura muttered to herself as they continued on their way until she saw the barracks themselves as they crested a large hill. She snapped wide awake and stared at them in amazement. Kaien was right so far. The thing that caught her attention most was a lake nearby that she could see glittering in the growing light of the awakening day. A thrill of excitement ran through her slender frame. Kaien looked down at the young pre-teenager at his side and shook his head, oh sure now she was excited about this. He didn't know how this was going to go over with Captain Ukitake to have a girl with the same name as the girl he still was mourning the loss of, but he was hoping his adopted sister would be enough to bring a smile to his captain's face that wasn't tinged with sadness. Kaien could see the now abundant energy coursing through Sakura and that she was chomping at the bit, more than ready to start running down to the barracks. With a smile and shake of his head he brought her down the hill to the barracks.

Ukitake had come in to his captain's office early that morning feeling barely well enough to be up and about. He sat at his desk his head propped up with one hand staring at the paperwork on it. He hadn't been able to tend to the squad for the past few weeks because of his illness. He had it for many years now, but it had become much more prominent after the Hideyori fire. He knew why partially. Little Sakura had been a good distraction from it and her death was a harsh blow. He missed that sparkle of her deep blue eyes and the sound of her laugh. Losing her was as good as losing his own child. Just thinking about it made his head feel even heavier in his hand. Guilt for not being able to take care of his duties to his squad also weighed heavily on his heart. Ukitake sighed and reached forward pulling the first document over to him. He got not even through the first paragraph when Kaien slid open the shoji screen door.

"Oh, you're in today, Captain." Kaien said in surprise keeping Sakura from trying to squeeze in to the office with his leg. He didn't see it because he was observing the state of Ukitake, but Sakura stared at him pouting from the other side of the doorway he stood in. She debated briefly if she could get away with kicking him in the leg.

"Yes, Kaien. I feel terrible for making you take care of the squad all the time, and I felt well enough today." Ukitake said as he slowly raised his face to look at his lieutenant apologetically a sad smile on his face.

"Um..." Kaien rubbed the back of his neck suddenly questioning his wisdom in bringing Sakura here without any advance warning. What was he going to do if Ukitake did react badly to this?

"Yes?" Ukitake was curious a bit of what Kaien might hesitate over bringing up like he was. He sat up in his chair the hand that had held up his head coming down to rest on the desk.

"I brought someone with today to watch the workings of the squad since they wanted to know how things usually work around here. . ."

"Who?" Ukitake looked at Kaien a little suspiciously.

"My kid sister, the one I'm always talking about-" Kaien started to explain until Sakura got impatient enough to push him out of the doorway and shove her way into the room. The force she used was enough to send her crashing to the floor when Kaien was out of her way.

Ukitake stood from behind his desk in alarm at how hard it sounded like the girl had hit the ground and started to come around it when she pushed herself up to a sitting position and shook her head from side to side as if to clear away a haziness from her head. Then she looked up at him and he almost fell back himself at the shock of recognition that ran through his body. He reached out and grabbed the edge of the desk to steady himself. It couldn't be! He had only seen two people with eyes that dark shade of blue in his whole life and both of them were dead. She tilted her head to the side in curiosity at the white haired captain's expression of shock. She stood slowly and carefully approached him tipping her head back to look at him.

"Are you alright, sir?" she asked slowly to keep from causing him to keel over then and there.

Ukitake looked her over from head to toe his shock and denial growing with every detail of her, but what took the cake was the anklet she wore on her right ankle. It was the same anklet he had given to his friend's daughter years ago when she was small. Could this really be his little Sakura? Or was she a convenient look alike Kaien had taken in that some how got her paws on her anklet? There had been no sign that Sakura had survived the fire. But then again there had never been overly substantial evidence that she had died in it either. Could she have survived it? If she had and this was her how did she pull it off? Where had she been in all these years afterwards?

"Who are you, girl?"

"Sakura Yori." she replied purposefully shortening her family name because she knew as a captain he would most likely have known and remembered her father.

Ukitake's eyes widened and he sucked in a short breath. There was no way that some look alike would say that name the way she did. The Sakura he had known and cared about as if she were his own daughter had always had problems saying Hideyori, and as such had a major penchant for calling herself that instead. Only Sakura said Yori that way as well with a heavy accent added to the "r" sound. The same heavy "r" sound carried into how she said her given name as well just like his Sakura did. She was alive. He turned to Kaien in amazement.

"How did you find her?"

Kaien's brows knitted together at his captain's tone. What had just happened? "I found her trying to steal from my family's storehouse a little over a year and a half ago. I told you that multiple times already, Captain Ukitake."

"How did you get in the Rukongai #79, girl? Did you get assigned to it when you came to soul society after you died?" He asked of Sakura as a just in case she had died in the fire and lived a short life among those in the world of the living.

"I don't know exactly how I got there, but I do know that I was born here in the soul society." she turned her head to the side a bit as she pursed her lips looking at the captain from the corner of her eyes. He was digging for information she didn't want to give out to everyone who asked.

"And how did you get that anklet? Looks a bit too nice for some random kid in the Rukongai to have."

Sakura's head snapped to glare at the white haired man directly. "I did not steal it! I can't remember how I got it anymore but I've had it for as long as I can remember! I only stole when I was on the streets to survive, not for my own personal pleasure! If I could have I would have never stole to begin with!" Her eyes flashed with her indignant anger and her voice was a growl. Her lips curled a bit in a snarl and she retreated a few steps and crouched in a defensive posture.

"Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!" Kaien grabbed Sakura around her waist and held her still against him. "Captain, please. Sakura is still working on rewiring her mind from what it got to be and there are still a lot of sore spots for her. When people talk to her like that she still takes it as an attack on her person. I don't know how she did it but she survived on those harsh streets all on her own with no one's help at all for at least two years from what I've gathered. How she got there noone knows, but she adapted to it fairly quickly it seems. Why are you even asking her stuff like that?"

Ukitake was silent as he watched for a few moments. This was his Sakura but she had changed with the years. Her eyes didn't hold that shining innocence all youth have anymore. Looking out of the face of the young girl who wasn't even in her teenage years yet was the jaded eyes of a young woman much older. Sakura had been forced to grow up beyond her years on the streets of the Rukongai. He also saw the lack of recognition in those eyes. She didn't remember him even though she kept his gift to her as a small child. She had grown too in the intervening years. Now she could probably reach the shoulders of the head captain with her head when the last time he looked she barely made his waist. Guilt swept through Ukitake as he looked on her now. She had been out there needing anyone who could help, and everyone had given up looking for her. They had turned their backs on her. It was his, Kyoraku, and Yamamoto's fault she had to live through such a harsh reality. If they had kept looking they might have found her sooner.

"It's nothing. She can stay and look around for as long as she wishes," he said as he returned to his desk with a heart that had lightened and gotten heavy in a matter of moments. When he was left alone he allowed the emotions swirling inside him to have their full rein over him.

As the years past and as she came to see the squad on a regular basis not only did she learn the squad and its members, but Ukitake learned of the new Sakura Hideyori as well. She hadn't dealt with her loss of her family that was very clear. Whenever her emotions seemed to catch up with her she'd put herself through the wringer in the attempt to drive them away again. She could easily sit staring over the lake Ukitake's home was in the middle of for hours on end, but she always fidgeted her foot causing the charms on her anklet to clink together. Ukitake remained silent on the topic of her family knowing that when she felt the time was right she'd tell the world what her true identity was. He did his best to be a support for the troubled girl to turn to and always let her tag along with him when the mood struck her. He knew she didn't remember it but she did that when she was small too and it brought a sense of nostalgia to him. When she decided to enter the Academy he tried to give her as many pointers for the entrance exam as he could as did Kaien. When she passed with very high marks everyone in the squad as thrilled when they heard and secretly prayed she'd be assigned to squad thirteen when she graduated.

* * *

Sakura's first impression of the Shinigami Academy was that it was huge followed by the thought of how the heck did Dad, Kaien, and Miyako not get lost half a million times going from point A to point B. She had never seen something so large before. She felt small and insignificant the moment she walked through the gate. The others of the incoming class with her were also arriving. Those that were of noble families could be spotted from miles away just by their clothes and how they had arrived. The same was true for those of the Rukongai like Sakura. The nobles wore expensive, fancy clothes compared to the much humbler and dirtier clothes of those of the Rukongai. The Rukongai students had come by their own foot power while the nobles came by palanquins, fancy covered litters with at least two people carrying it on their shoulders. Everyone stood around in a large crowd not sure what to do or where to go, but the crowd could be cut almost dead center into two groups: Rukongai students on one side and noble on the other. Mixed in with the crowd were the red and blue uniformed upper class men that had been recruited to help with the new students, the servants of some of the nobles, and the black and white robes of different instructors.

Slowly the crowd began to move forward after they were told to retrieve their uniforms, find their dorms, and get to class. The uniform depository was just as crowded as the courtyard when Sakura got to it and she had to practically shove her way to the desk. The woman behind the counter said nothing as she took one look at her and handed her a couple sets of red hakama and white with red stripe haori that were apparently the uniform of the female students. Sakura turned to shove her way out of the building and smacked into the broad chest of a male student of her year who was working his way to the desk. He glared down at her and snarled.

"What the hell is your problem, bitch!"

She said nothing in return but glared back at him clinching her jaw and tightening her grip on her uniforms before she tried to move to the side to get away. She did not need a fight on the first day with one of her fellow students. As she was about to get by him he reached out and grabbed her arm in a bruising grip. Before she could think better of it her other hand shot out and slapped him and Sakura ran. She got to her assigned dorm before she stopped. What was his problem? Anyone could have seen she bumped into him on accident, and someone was bound to do so with how crowded that small building had been. Sakura was not in a good mood now. So much for what excitement she had this morning about starting school at the Academy. Sakura changed as slowly as she dared into her new uniform and pulled her brown hair back into its normal braid before she set out to find her first class. She was bound to have that jerk in one of her classes. Sakura glanced at the schedule she had received two weeks ago to double check that she had history first then look up at the room numbers. Gah! Where was 256?! Panic starts to set in and she raced down the hallways. She was not totally proud of it but she found her classroom with ten seconds to spare.

"Yori Sakura. I see you have the luck of the Kami on your side today. Your seat is over there." The instructor calls out drawing the whole class's attention to her as he points to a spot on the left hand side of the room that was vacant.

She blushed scarlet and moved to take the seat until she saw who it is that she would have to sit next to. Sakura was stuck next to the jerk from the uniform depository. He tilted his chair back and put his feet on the table in front of him and put his hands behind his head. She didn't let his casual posture fool her. She could see him glaring at her in recognition under his long black bangs. She stood rooted to the spot she stood glaring right back at him.

"Yome Shion! Get your feet off the table this instant!" The instructor yells at the jerk and he turns his glare to the instructor. "Don't give me that look! I've heard plenty about you from your brother when he was my student."

The jerk growls but obeys the order reluctantly. All four of the chair's legs return to the floor with a crashing bang. Knowing she was going to get the instructor's yelling next she reluctantly sat in the chair next to the jerk, Shion. She moved her chair as far from his as she can and he does the same. They both glare at each other out of the corners of their eyes the whole of class even as they each take notes on the lecture being given. Sakura gladly jumped out of her seat and quickly moved to the exit when the bell sounds and the instructor, Koro-sensei, dismisses the class. The rest of the day she had better luck finding her classes in a more timely manner. Unfortunately Sakura had the jerk in almost half her classes.

------------------

The next few weeks pass more smoothly and Sakura noticed that she was not the only one Shion was a jerk to. She would swear his mission in life was to make everyone else's more miserable. His favorite target was a boy in their year named Ryuku Ryona who had pitiful skills in Zanjutsu and offensive kido. The only thing Ryuku could really do good was healing kido making it obvious what squad he was going to be placed in when they graduated in six years time. If he was able to get good enough marks in all his classes for him to graduate that is or had the guts to stay in the Academy that long.

"Hey, Wimp-wad!" Ryuku flinched as he heard the call of Shion from behind him in the crowded hallway and tensed knowing he was in for another attack from the bully.

Sakura glanced over her shoulder at the weak boy that was her fellow student as she paused in the hall with her hand on one of the window sills, her books clutched to her chest with her other arm. She debated what she should do. Ryuku was really weak and it was natural that the strong will pick on the weak, but he was also a member of her year and therefore a future possible member of whatever squad she would be put in, ever though it was pretty clear he would be a member of squad four, and trust in your other squad members is key. How would any one be able to put faith in her if she turns her back on someone in need? Sakura bit her lip as she began to turn to go back. Who else would stand up for Ryuku if she didn't? Everyone was cowed by Shion practically and it was high time someone stood up to him and kicked his arse. Resolve straightened and strengthened Sakura's spine as she walked to where Ryuku stood and Shion drew near him. She came to a stop when Ryuku was behind her and she stood in Shion's way. Her right arm hung at her side as her left held her books to her. To the casual observer she would look totally relaxed instead of the tightly coiled spring she was. Sakura was more than ready to snap out her right hand and punch Shion in the face.

"What's this? Little miss goody-goody two shoes wants to save the little wimp? Get lost if you don't want to feel pain." Shion taunted.

"How about no you bastard?" Sakura sneered just before she snapped out a quick back hand punch to Shion's nose.

An awed hush instantly fell and all those in the immediate hallway area began to form a ring around Sakura, Shion and Ryuku. No one could believe that someone had stood up to Shion, much less on someone else's behalf. Shion touched the back of his hand to his smarting nose and pulled it away to see blood. A stream of swear words flowed from his mouth in rapid succession before his launched a punch of his own at Sakura's head. Sakura calmly timed his attack to lean to the side at the last possible moment and caught his wrist then twisted his arm back behind him with one hand. A cry of pain was barely suppressed as it was about to escape Shion's throat and he clinched his teeth to keep anymore from trying to get out. He tried to counter her but to no avail. She held him firmly in place with no shift in her stony expression as he struggled against her hold.

A growl of frustration escaped him, "Bitch! Let me go!"

"Do you submit?" Sakura asked emotionless giving his arm a slight bit more of a twist.

"Fuck no!" another twist to his arm. "Ow!! Fuck! Alright! Let me go bitch!"

"Leave Ryuku-kun alone." She shoved Shion as she let go of his arm sending him stumbling forward. He glared at her as he slowly slunk away. The crowd slowly parted to permit the defeated bully to retreat to lick his wounds before he would show his face again. Everyone turned to whisper and mutter something to their neighbor as Sakura turned to go to her class. She gave Ryukyu a small nod of acknowledgment as she walked past him. He stood dazed for a few moments then turned and ran to catch up to her.

"That was amazing! How did you do that?" Ryuku asked the moment he caught up. "I can't believe you could take him down so easily."

"He'll be back and worse than ever. I humiliated him in front of others and he can't claim he faked it like he has tried to with the sparring matches in Zanjutsu and Hakuda. Nothing will rile someone like him like losing to a girl in front of an audience like that." she replied nonchalantly with a shrug of her shoulders.

Ryuku paused for a few moments as fear gripped him, "Worse than before?"

Sakura looked over her shoulder at him. "He can't beat me in a fair fight. I was sick of him anyways already. He wouldn't know polite if it smacked him in the face. You're clearly going to be a squad four, the squad most often looked down on but I do know that those who have really strong healing spirits are rare. Most shinigami souls much more of the killing verity like me and Shion."

Ryuku saw the sincerity in her deep blue eyes and knew that she was someone he could put total faith in. From that point on Ryuku was like Sakura's shadow everywhere she was so was he. Word of Sakura trouncing Shion spread like wildfire through the Academy, both the student body and the staff ate up every word they could get of it. When it was clear that Sakura was as skilled as most students three years higher than her in Zanjutsu and as skilled as most two years higher in Hakuda it spread like wildfire as well. Rumors also started to spread that Sakura and Ryuku were an item with how often they were around each other even though Sakura did her best to make it clear that wasn't the case. The conflict and tension between Sakura and Shion only sky rocketed as the school years passed and they kept ending up in the same classes. The reason they kept getting the same classes: they were the two strongest members of their year. None but the older students and instructors could compare to them in strength and skill, and as such they were frequently assigned to be sparing partners or pitted against the instructors or student teachers for demonstration purposes. There were many among the students who rallied behind Sakura and sought her strength and protection when Shion targeted them like Ryukyu, but there were a few that sided with Shion against her and willingly helped him whenever possible. Fights that caused true injury were common between the divisions formed around Sakura and Shion among the students. In fact they happened at least once a month. . .Things got a bit worse once their year was allowed to carry an asauchi, a nameless zanpakuto, outside Zanjutsu class.

"Ryuku-kun! Move!" Sakura had had enough of Shion's crap for the week once again and was going to kick his arse into next month. They were in class this time. Those closest who heard her call paused in their own spars to watch one of the events that was growing to infamy right before their eyes. Those who were self appointed to either side of the rival pair eyed each other up waiting for some cue to go after each other. "Stay the hell out of this all of you! This isn't your fight!"

Ryukyu glanced over his shoulder at her hesitant. He knew if she fought him they wouldn't stop until one of them was prime for the infirmary. He felt nagging guilt for his weakness every time she was injured on his behalf. He should stand up for himself and spare her from fighting even if he was one of the weakest members of their year. He hated seeing her get hurt and he always had. He knew what she hid from the rest of their year. He knew she was the daughter of his parents employer, Tadakatsu Hideyori, and he knew that because he remembered her clearly from when they were children. He had healed her injuries even back then as well as he could. He also knew she didn't remember the servant boy she used to play with and get punished because of. Ryukyu didn't want to move out of her way. His asauchi shook in his trembling hands. He shook with fear, self-loathing, and the attempt to gather his courage to tell her to stay back this time. His instincts were screaming at him to retreat and let someone stronger take on the foe before him, but what honor and self respect he had kept him in place. Sweat poured down his body with the effort to stay were he was in the face of Shion's much more massive spiritual pressure pushing against him making his grip on the asauchi slick. Shion had a predatory grin on his face as he watched Ryukyu intently, one way or another he would get some fun from him.

"Feel free to jump in an time you feel like it boys," Shion called to those behind him who had been waiting eagerly for a command purposely making Sakura have to allow her followers to defend themselves even if she didn't say a word.

"Ryuku-kun! Now!" Sakura let her anger at Shion color her tone and released part of her spirit pressure directing it at Shion and by extent Ryukyu.

The wind got knocked out of Ryukyu by the collision of spirit pressure and one of Sakura's supports took a bit of matters into their own hands by grabbing him by the arm and pulling him out of the way. Ryukyu tried to protest and put himself in the way again but he couldn't shake the grip of the two people that held him by the arms on the side lines. Worry griped him like an iron fist as Sakura stepped forward her left hand gripping the sheath of her asauchi when she faced Shion, her thumb pressed against the guard partially sliding it out of the sheath. Her right foot slide back so it was back farther than her left. She hunched forward slightly in preparation for the draw.

Shion's grin widened as he took his asauchi into both his hands and raised it angling the blade's tip towards her. He was so going to get her good this time and the weaklings would get to watch their little goddess of battle fall. He slid his right foot back and shifted his weight forward onto his left. Her right hand came up to grasp the hilt of her asauchi. They stood like that for the mere breadth of a few heartbeats, though it felt longer than that, and the world seemed to still and fall away. The only movement was the slow rise and fall of their chests and the wind blowing their hair.

Then Shion pushed himself forward in a lunge to slash at Sakura. The asauchi slid free of the sheath and Sakura blocked the slash using the flat of the blade. Their asauchi lock together for a few seconds before she shoved on her blade pushing him back a few feet disengaging the nameless zanpakuto. Sakura took a chop at his head and he blocked it. With the next disengagement Shion took a sweeping slash at both her legs. She leaps over the blade as it slashes and before she lost too much air she twisted around a bit and kicked him in the face. A sickening crunch follows that she both felt and hear, and as she lands blood started to trickle from his broken nose. A gasp sounds from the gathered crowd as Shion stumbles back a few steps stunned. Sakura swung her asauchi intent to take advantage of the major opening she had created. Before she had time to blink Takashi-sensei had her by both wrists and had her arms held over her head.

"That's enough! No more is needed, Yori-san!" Shion regained his balance and looked like he was going to launch another attack but thought better of it when Takashi-sensei turned his attention to him. "I suggest you go to the infirmary and get that treated, Yome-san."

Shion glared at Sakura then slunk off with his tail between his legs again, figuratively speaking. He wasn't stupid enough to disobey an instructor's order just to get at her. There would be other chances sooner or later. When Shion and his followers were gone for the most part Takashi-sensei released her. She sheathed her asauchi and rubbed her wrists subconsciously. She took a deep breath and reined in her flaring spirit pressure and calmed herself a bit. Ryukyu sighed softly in relief. She hadn't been hurt this time.

"I want you to take the rest of the day's worth of classes off, Yori-san. As talented as you are even you need rest. Everyone is aware of just how much you practice. You are always on time for lessons and never miss a day, and you can always be found in one of the practice areas long after the others have left. If you continue the way you are you will make yourself ill. Everyone knows that, with the exception of your conflict with Yome-san, you are an exemplary student. Now run along and do something relaxing like read a book or poetry. Ryona-san, I'd like a word with you."

Sakura nodded and obeyed. She walked through the halls of the Shinigami Academy toward her dorm a bit begrudgingly. She wanted to be active to help burn off the emotions that still haunted her from years ago and the turmoil the last fight had created. She was disturbed on a major level because she would have killed Shion most likely if Takashi-sensei hadn't interfered when he did. She couldn't just disobey Takashi-sensei's order though because every instructor she had and ever will have would know about it no matter what she would prefer. She hated staying completely still so maybe she'd write to Kaien and the others and let them know how she was doing. She was so deep in thought with her eyes focused on the floor she didn't even realize there was anyone near her until her shoulder bumped someone in passing. She ducked her head, hiding her face, and muttered an apology as she hurried on her way.

-----------

Byakuya turned, frowning, as he watched the light brown haired girl retreat down the hall back the way he and the two men at his sides had just came. After she had bumped into him she had hunched into herself and moved to the side as if fearing a blow. Her apology was so soft he would have sworn she hadn't said anything at all. What nagged at him though was the feeling that he had seen her somewhere before many years ago. It would be much easier to know for sure if he had seen her face or eyes. He had thought he had hear the clinks of a charm bracelet or something to that effect but he could have been mistaken.

"What a mouse!" the man to his left, one of his family's guards, said with a laugh.

"More like a rude wench," the man to his right, his grandfather, replied with a scowl. "She didn't even say one word of apology to you, did she, Byakuya?"

Byakuya stared silently in the direction she had gone for one long moment before he turned back the way they were going. "She did, very softly. Let us continue on our way."

Where had he seen her before? Who was she? He had the feeling that it had to be before he had met his late wife Hisana. There was only one girl that had seemed worth noticing or really remembering back then, but this couldn't be her. Sakura Hideyori had died in the fire that had destroyed her family's home. . .

-----------

Within a week the talk of the Academy was the adoption of a girl named Rukia into the great noble Kuchiki family and how a bunch of strings were getting pulled for her suddenly. Life at the Academy continued on as normal for most of the students and Sakura was offered multiple times the chance to skip a few years and graduate early by at least two years because of her skills, but she refused every time. Sakura was back home at the Shiba compound in the short break between the end of her fourth year and start of her fifth when the next large ripple in her life hit.

She had been sitting in front of the house watching and waiting for the sun to set so she could try something she hadn't had time to do in years due to her time at the Academy and skipping breaks to stay there and work ahead on the next year's material. She had wanted to give the newest blend Kukaku had come up with for a kamuro firework a try since she had heard about it. She looked up at the sky hoping the rain she smelled on the way would hold off long enough for her to try it out. Her hope was in vain though as it soon started to pour. Sakura sat still letting the rain fall on her. She wasn't concerned about the fireworks shell since she had left indoors to wait for its launch time. Rain had always seemed to have a calming effect on her so she stayed outside and even started to doze out there. The tingle of approaching spirit energy awake her. Kukaku was coming to the doorway to call her in when a figure dragging something became visible. Koganehiko and Shiroganehiko came to stand near Sakura as the figure approached. It was a young woman wearing the shihakusho, the uniform of a shinigami, and she was dragging another person by the back of their own shihakusho. She had blood on her face and her zanpakuto was unsheathed in her right hand. There was blood on the blade as well. Denial rang through Sakura's mind as she drew closer and she saw the short spiky black hair of the person she dragged. When the woman was close enough and she stopped to let go of the person an undeniable voice thanked her just before they died. Rage gripped Sakura and she started to rush forward in an attempt on the woman, but before she could do anything the twins grabbed both of her arms and held her in place. She thrashed and screamed trying to break free and tear the woman shinigami apart as she turned and walked away without a word. When she was finally released she sunk into a heap on the ground and refused to move. Sakura had to be forcefully taken inside.

Sakura refused to speak to anyone at Kaien and Miyako's funeral. She had lost another brother and sister in one fell swoop and had to wonder what god had it out for her. Sakura began to distance herself from Kukaku, Ganju, and the twins. She questioned her choice to be a shinigami. Her heart was filled with self-doubt and she felt as if she had been cast a drift in a boundless turbulent sea that would swallow her up the first chance it got. The Shibas, Kaien and Miyako especially, had become her foundation and that was now gone.

The first time Ukitake tried to talk with Sakura after that she railed on him. She screamed and yelled at him. She accused him of it being all his fault they had died cutting him deep in heart and soul. She knew in her heart that he wasn't to blame and that their deaths hurt him just as much, but she wanted to lash out at someone, anyone. She returned to the Academy but everyone soon learned to stay the hell out of her way if they didn't want to feel her tongue. Sakura became rude and beligrant toward everyone when she would have been polite and respectful before. Sakura felt a bitterness lodged inside her that hadn't been there before. She cursed out instructors. She got in fights more frequently. Anyone that got in her way or too close were prime targets for her fists. Not even Ryukyu was exempted from her constant foul mood. Unlike some of the others in their year who lost faith in her and turned away, Ryukyu stayed by her and took everything she dealt without gripe or flinching and always was back by her side the next day.

And Sakura had turned quite foul indeed with her behavior.

There was one day Head-Captain Yamamoto came to the Academy himself to scout out the students and see which ones really did have true potential. He spoke with the instructors between the classes to hear what they had to say about their students and there were two names that kept coming up with every instructor whether they had those two in their class or not, Shion Yome and Sakura Yori. It was made clear that Shion had issues with respecting authority and while being quite skilled was a bad apple from the start. Sakura on the other hand had seemed to be the perfect student until her fifth year then she became even harder to control than Shion. What had caused this sudden change in the girl's behavior was a mystery to the instructors because she refused to speak of any personal issues with anyone. This intrigued Yamamoto because he recognized some of the patterns of his former student Tadakatsu Hideyori in this Sakura's behavior. He wanted to see this Sakura and find out if she was the one he suspected she was. He and the instructors she currently had remained in the hall talking for a long time blocking it up most of it.

Sakura glared at the younger students she past in the hall, cowing them to one side of the hall and practically against the wall. Ryuku gave them an apologetic smile as he followed her hurried pace. Sakura was in a worse mood than normal could tell just from how fast she was walking. He was going to have to make a lot of apologies for her by the time the sun set. When Sakura saw the group of instructors blocking up the hallway she growled and her pace increased with her temper.

"Move it!" she yelled when she was close enough.

Yamamoto whispered to the instructors to hold their ground when one whispered "Sakura".

Sakura's anger increased at being ignored and before any thought of the consequences can enter her mind a very long string of swear words left her mouth in rapid succession for a good two minutes all directed at the group blocking her way. Absolute horror at the words leaving her mouth in the Head-Captain's presence grip the instructors and Ryuku. They knew she had a foul mouth but what they were hearing now paled everything they had hear before in comparison. When Sakura finally stopped she was breathing heavily and glaring at the group with a look that would kill the lot of them multiple times over if looks could kill. There was dead silence for a few moments then Yamamoto threw his head back and laughed startling everyone but Sakura. She had just confirmed what he suspected. This really was Tadakatsu's girl. When he stopped laughing a smile hidden under his beard and mustache formed.

"You remind me of one of my students from back when I opened this Academy. He had out bursts like that almost every time things didn't go the way he wanted them to. He later became the captain of squad ten and did a fairly good job at it. Perhaps one day you'll also become a captain, girl. From what I've heard you have the abilities to be a fourth or fifth seated officer right out of the Academy, but your anger issues will hold you back as long as you have them." Yamamoto had to wonder if she would succeed in getting control of it where her father had failed. He knew that her behavior was making her a prime candidate for squad eleven because of her apparent liking of fighting, but he had other ideas of where to put her. . .

* * *

A/N: That's it for this one! Two reader requests filled in this one and hopefully you guys know the time frame now until further notice. Please review if you like. Please review if you don't like. Things in this chapter went in a bit of an unintentional direction in the writing process. :face palms: I don't know how else to put Ryuku though so he's staying that way for this chapter. Next chapter: Sakura gets her zanpakuto, miraculously graduates from the Academy, and gets put in her first squad. Sorry it took me so long to write this and get it up.

Til next chapter,

Sakura-hime


	5. Chapter 4: Yuki Hana

Fate's Twisted Whims

a Bleach fanfiction

by: Sakura Onna

Chapter 4: Yuki Hana

Sakura sat on the roof of her dorm staring out into the night doing her best to keep her mind empty. She chewed her lower lip with out realising it, wearing the flesh so thin at it would most likely start bleeding soon, and she held her arms tight enough that her short nails were starting to dig into her skin. She didn't want to deal with the painful ache inside her heart or the emotions swirling within her. It was much easier to run away from the pain inside then face it down. It was easier to push others away then to put her trust in them. She wouldn't share her burden with anyone but herself, not even Kukaku, or Ganju, or Ryuku could get through the barrier she was forming around herself and her pain. She didn't even notice when Ryuku knelt beside her on the roof until he tried to get her fingers to uncurl from around her arm.

"Go away, Ryuku-kun. Leave me alone." her voice was deadpan but she didn't struggle against him as he got each finger to slowly release its grip on her arms.

"No! I'm not going away, Sakura-san! You can't keep doing these things to yourself! I won't allow it!" he fiercely stated as he carefully held her hands then began to inspect the places her hands had gripped her arms. A small groan past his lips as he saw the ten crescent moon indentations her nails had created start to fill with blood. He hated seeing her hurt herself. Ryuku muttered a small incantation and carefully put his hands on her wounded arms applying a healing kido. He then placed one of his fingers against her bottom lip healing it as well even though he knew she was going to chew it again later on and undo his effort. He tried to plead with her to see reason once more. "Sakura-san, you aren't the only person in the three worlds who has ever felt pain. You can't keep carrying this burden alone. You have to share it."

Sakura turned her face away from him and stood, "If you won't go away I will."

Ryuku's eyes widened and he reached out grabbing her wrist, "No! Sakura-san, please!"

She yanked her hand out of his grasp and started to walk away wordlessly. Ryuku jumped to his feet and moved to block her path but she just went around him as if he wasn't there. She ignored the hurt in his eyes as she walked away and out of sight.

"I love you, Sakura. . ." Ryuku whispered to the empty night air and full moon above, "but you are meant for someone else, it seems." a sad smile crossed his face. " Who ever he is, he is either the luckiest guy in the worlds or he is the most damned."

--------

Weeks past and graduation of another year of students from the Academy drew closer. This time it was Sakura, Ryuku, and Shion's year that would be graduating in to the thirteen court guard squads, Kido Corps, and Stealth Force. Many within the year began to talk with excitement of what their appointment might be after graduation and what their zanpakuto power may have. Some students sat and argued with each other on both subjects, others were busy analyzing other students skills instead of their own, and some just ignored the coming graduation and treated it like it didn't exist.

--------

"What do you mean by 'special recruit', Old Man Yama? I thought we were given are new recruits based on their skills and personality," Captain Shunsui Kyoraku looked at the Head Captain like he was insane. "By the way it sounds this person you're trying to saddle me with belongs in Squad 11 under Captain Zaraki not my squad."

"You'll take this one into your squad and make it so they can be in any of the squads and function well. It is anger and pain that fuels their misbehavior. Take that away and they will beyond a doubt be very obedient and loyal to the Soul Society. You will know what I mean and why I am assigning them to you went you see them." Head Captain Yamamoto replied with authority then turned to leave the Captain of Squad 8 to his own doings and have a word with Captain Zaraki about the other of the problem children, so to speak.

"Will you at least say the name of the brat you're forcing on me?!" Captain Kyoraku shouted as he ran to the doorway to try to catch Yamamoto.

"You'll know her, when you see her. Trust me."

"Some help you are old man," Captain Kyoraku muttered as he leaned on the door frame watching the Head Captain walk away. "Who ever this person is they must have really caught your attention to warrant a personal visit to inform me I'm getting stuck with them."

"Captain! What do you think you're doing?! Get back to you desk and finish signing those papers!" A young woman wearing glasses shouted when she came around a corner to see her captain leaning on the door frame.

"Come on, Nanao-chan, can't you have a little sympathy for an old man? I just got told by the Head Captain himself that we're going to be getting a known trouble starter added to our squad whether we like it or not. And this person's way of acting, from what I heard, is much more typical of Squad 11 members. They start fights at the slightest provocation, have a very foul mouth and aren't afraid to use it, have very little respect for authority and are going to be a nightmare scenario for the rest of us. And for what? Apparently we're gonna be the guinea pigs of finding out if they can be tamed down to where they're no different from your normal run of the mill non Squad 11 member shinigami." Captain Kyoraku did his best to make himself look as pathetic as possible as he spoke in the hope that his lieutenant, Nanao Ise, would take pity on him and let him skip on the rest of the paperwork for awhile.

"That trick isn't going to work, Captain. Get your lazy ass back in there and finish the paperwork! Worry about the problems with the new coming members later!" Nanao scolded brandishing the large heavy book in her hands threateningly.

"Alright! Alright! I'm going! You know I spoil you, right , my Nanao-chan?" the captain stood straight and had begun to go back in his office when he said the last part.

"I don't care! Get back to work! And since when have I been _your _Nanao-chan?!"

-------------

Sakura was barely aware of the passing days, just that it took a little too much effort to pay attention to the others. She started to take to ditching class as she couldn't focus anyway. All she knew was that one day, about two weeks or so before graduation, was that everyone began to get their zanpakuto's powers. Ryuku's zanpakuto, as expected by everyone, was one with healing abilities rather than injuring or killing. Shion's as well was as expected to be, was a weapon meant to maim and injure. As each of the top students of each possible category had their power revealed to them many watched Sakura with interest. Was she fire type zanpakuto? Kido based? Water? Earth? Shadow? Did she even have a zanpakuto with a power in it? As the days passed without her power being revealed the questions kept mounting. Is she even able to communicate with her zanpakuto? Can she even find her inner world? Or was she in her own little world too much to be able to truly look within herself? Is she even going to be allowed to be a shinigami with her way of behaving now? What will be done with her if she can't be a shinigami? Should she even be allowed to be a shinigami with how much of a menace she can be? What type of zanpakuto fits that? Does she even have a zanpakuto in her soul? The talk continued on and on among both students and staff as Sakura soon became the only one of the students with any degree of outstanding skills who had not found the inner power of their spirit. Some of the instructors wondered if what had caused her shift in behavior had something to do what that. Some who remembered her before the change wondered if she would return to her old self if she found her inner world and her zanpakuto. Some wondered if there was a way to safely keep her from being unleashed on the worlds without risking their jobs. Some wondered if there was a way to "lead" her to her inner world and get it all over with. They were getting sick of wondering and worrying over Sakura's path that she might take.

The reason everyone wondered so much about her was because ones zanpakuto reveals much about them and their personality as well as their spirit. Those who are intense and with a fiery personality tend to have the fire type for example. Or those like Captain Aizen of Squad 5 who have an illusion type tend to be good liars and deceivers (*hint, hint*). Those who are sadistic tend to have zanpakuto that help them achieve such things with poison or paralysis. Sakura's sides that she had shown made it hard for them to predict what her power was....

Sakura lounged on the roof of one of the Academy buildings letting herself absorb the sunlight that beat down on her. The day was unseasonably warm for spring and she knew she didn't need to worry about being disturbed by anyone because everyone but her was away on a trip to the human world to practice konso, soul funerals. Well,actually it was a younger year's trip but after that one incident a few years ago where a couple hollows that could hide their spiritual pressure so how got in the secured environment used for such trips, older more experienced students were brought with for added security ever since. She was one of the ones who would have been brought with if some of the instructors hadn't decided it was best she stayed behind. It didn't bother Sakura any that she wasn't allowed to go. This gave her a chance to find some comfort in the nice weather they were having. Sakura yawned and streched as she settled against the tiles more. She brought her arm up to shield her eyes from the bright light and stared at the sky watching what few clouds there were. She didn't mind the warmth of the sun that much but she found herself wishing there was snow and ice still for some reason.

"You want snow do you?" a voice whispered in Sakura's ear making her jump almost a jumped to her feet instantly and looked around her. She saw no one on the roof with her.

"Who are you?! Show yourself!" Sakura demanded her hand on her asauchi and her eyes shifting over everything warily. Was it one of the other students using kido to hide themselves so they could torment her?

"I am the one who knows you better than any one else," a hand touched Sakura's shoulder and she whirled around to confront the owner of it.

A gasp escaped Sakura and her hand feel away from the asauchi at what she saw. No longer was she on the roof of the Academy building bathed in sunlight. All around her snow swirled on the sudden chill wind and glistened on the branches of trees that were bare of their leaves. In the distance in all directions she saw a blizzard raging making it hard to see very far. It was almost like where she stood was the eye of a very deadly storm. The world was locked in the dead of winter. Sakura turned to her right on instinct and saw a woman who was very beautiful in Sakura's opinion. She wore a pure white kimono with a white fur pelt of some animal over her shoulders. Her hair was as white as fresh snow and fell loose to almost the ground. Her eyes were a very light, unearthly blue that made Sakura think of ice. She was around the same height and build as Sakura, and her skin was pale. Sakura looked down at her feet and saw that the woman was bare foot.

"Who are you?" Sakura asked again returning to the woman's face. "Where is this place?"

"As I said I am the one who knows you better than anyone else. I have shouted in your ear countless times and you have ignored me, Sakura Hideyori. You should know this place as it is your inner world. Now you know why you always felt at home in the snow and cold when others would have frozen to death."

Sakura stared at the woman gaining some comprehension. So she was the manifestation of her zanpakuto, "I never heard your voice before-"

"Because you had your ears stuffed with foolish ignorance! Because you were running from yourself at every turn! If you would have just faced the facts, admitted you miss your family, that you miss Kaien and Miyako, and stopped being a dumb ass you would have heard me sooner, wench!!! Tell me why I should even bother letting you wield me after your foolish behavior!!!" the woman shouted stomping her foot and glaring at Sakura.

Sakura was silent at her words knowing there was a ring of truth to them. She thought for a few moments then finally spoke, "You're very blunt and to the point. Yell at me when I make a mistake, tell me when I step right. You can help keep me from being an idiot. You would know better than anyone when either happens since you are a part of me."

The woman crossed her arms over her chest and gave Sakura a doubtful look, "You have pushed away your friends and tried to push me away without realising it. What will keep you from trying to do so again in the future? Will you stop hating yourself and taking it out on others?"

"I don't hate myself!" Sakura denied instantly.

"Yes, you do. What else is that pool of burning disgust that has been eating away at your insides for years now? You hate yourself because your family died and you lived. You don't think you're worthy of it. Kaien and Miyako's deaths only added fuel to the fire. You hurt those that love you because you hate yourself and you want them to hate you too. You can't hide your emotions from me, Sakura. Your heart is the source of the strength of your spirit. Your heart is in chaos because you haven't allowed yourself to grieve putting your spirit into chaos as well," the woman's eyes softened and she moved forward catching Sakura in a hug startling her. "Alright. I'll help you, Sakura, but you need to make an effort to find peace in your heart. Okay? I can only do so much the rest you have to do yourself. Listen well because I'll say my name only one more time. If you don't hear it this time I won't say it again. Understand?"

Sakura nodded letting herself be held for the first time since Kaien and Miyako died, not trusting her voice.

"My name is Yuki Hana, the Snow Flower. To use my shikai you have to say 'Bloom and shatter, Yuki Hana'." Yuki Hana released Sakura and smiled slightly, "Don't be so hard on Ryuku, alright?"

"I can try," Sakura said softly as she returned to standing on the roof top. She glanced at the sword at her side and her eyes widened a bit. Now there was a true zanpakuto as well as the asauchi at her side The grip on the hilt of the zanpakuto was wrapped in a medium blue colored cord and there was a matching piece of fabric on the sheath. The guard was pure black, and a cerulean blue braided cord came off of the pommel. The braided cord was held in its braid by a deep red bead and a knot at the end. Sakura drew her zanpakuto and examined the blade with a smile as it reflected the sunlight. She started facing herself a bit at that moment with the thought that Kaien would most likely be proud of her for gaining her real zanpakuto and not just the asuachi the Academy had issued. Speaking of which her next task was going to have to be returning the asauchi....

---------

The difference that started to show in Sakura before graduation after she gained Yuki Hana shocked most of everyone and brought a small ray of hope for her back in Ryuku's heart. Her eyes once more were losing their feral quality and she didn't seek out so many fights.

--------

The change from the red and white uniform she had worn for six years to the black shihakusho of a shinigami and member of the thirteen court guard squads was a strange one for Sakura. She had to wonder in a way how she had even made it out of the Academy with her behavior in her last years there.

Sakura raced through the twisting and turning streets of the seireitei to her new squad, a piece of paper getting crunched in her hand that she glanced at on occasion to check she was heading in the right direction. She could understand now why some squad members get lost in their first years in the squads, every street pretty much looked the same. She was to a degree looking forward to starting in her squad but had a sense of forboding as well. Something unpleasent was going to show up somewhere along the way. A soft growl escaped Sakura's throat as she found herself running smack dab into a dead end as she turned another corner. She made a quick choice and leapped on to the closest rooftop and continued on her way via the rooftops which gave her a better view of where she was heading. She passed Squad 10 and Squad 9's barracks before she reached her squad's. She heard some little snippets of comments about her made by squad members she past over, but she paid them no mind. She came to a stop in front of a door with a large 8 painted on it and rested for a few moments to steel her spine before she knocked on the door.

"Come in!" came a resigned voice from inside the office and Sakura slid the door open.

"Sakura Yori reporting in," Sakura stated looking at the man who sat behind the desk with a white captain's haori on under a woman's kimono. He looked extremely flamboyant and like he had never taken a day seriously in his life. Sakura instantly questioned her squad assignment and if she should request a transfer.

Captain Kyoraku looked up from the stack of papers Nanao had shoved at him earlier to look at the new recruit Old Man Yama had forced on him and he was surprised. This young woman before him didn't look like she could cause a bazillion fights at the Academy or cuss out almost every instructor there. Hell, she looked adorable with the light blue ribbon she had tied her long light brown hair back with! Was Old Man Yama going senile or something? He pondered what the Head Captain had said about knowing her when he saw her and the meaning eluded him until he took a good look at her face. Then realization hit him like a lightening bolt. Tadakatsu and Ai's youngest girl!?

_Well I'll be damned! So one of them did survive. That explains the Old Man's interest, but why'd he put her in my squad? He knows it was Ukitake she had more of a bond with and liked more when she was a kid. Why didn't he put her in his squad? Wait, she has anger issues? Oh, boy. You did just send me a hellion, didn't you Old Man Yama?!_

"Well then, Sakura-chan, welcome to Squad 8!" Kyoraku said as brightly as he could as he stood from his seat, which creeped Sakura out more than a little. "Well, I don't know quite what you maybe expecting for your placement in the squad but I'm putting you as 20th seat." Sakura's look of disbelief made him pause for only a few seconds before continuing. "I think this is more than fair given your record at the Academy."

"I got top marks in most of my classes! How is that fair?!"

"You may have gotten good grades for the most part but that doesn't mean much when compared to your behavior. Skill means nothing if you don't have discipline to go with it."

Sakura sighed as she heard Yuki Hana give a ringing agreement with the captain, "Very well. What are my duties around barracks then?"

* * *

A/N: Okay, I guess I lied a bit about taking my time with Sakura's years at the Academy. =P I know it'll be at least one or two chapters of Sakura's time in Squad 8 for sure, a transition chapter maybe, and then Byaku will show up quite a bit and you guys will see why when the time comes. I hope that you'll all be patient enough with me for that long. Review if you like this chapter or if you don't, it don't matter to me which because I want to hear what you guys think. =D So please click that button with green words in it at the bottom of the page that says "Review".


	6. Chapter 5: Squad 8 & SWA

Fate's Twisted Whims

a Bleach fanfiction

Written by: Sakura Onna

Chapter 5: Squad 8 and of Avoiding Ones Captain

Sakura learned quickly to stay aware of her surroundings when doing anything around the squad's barracks. Why? Because she also learned quickly that she didn't really like Captain Kyoraku and had little respect for him. He drank frequently, tried to hit on practically every female squad member that got near him, took naps when he was supposed to be working, put off doing paperwork until almost the last minute. Sakura had to wonder sometimes what kept the squad functional. Often times it got to be that when Sakura felt Captain Kyoraku's spiritual pressure coming close to where ever she was, she would stop what she was doing and shunpo away from there. Some of the senior members found this amusing as can be and started a betting pool on how long it would take for the newest member to request a transfer. They also started a betting pool on how long she could avoid the captain.

If only they would have known Sakura had a great deal more respect for Nanao. From the moment the two women had met they had a strong mutual respect for each other and became friends. How could Sakura not have respect for the one person bold enough to yell at and scold their lazy captain on a daily basis? Nanao treated Captain Kyoraku like an overgrown child, and that's what his way of acting reminded Sakura of (besides a pig). Nanao gave Sakura the benefit of the doubt, giving her a chance to show who she was for herself instead of going by what her captain had said, and as far as Nanao was concerned she was just a person who had a hard life so far that was trying to put it behind them. It also came to be that due to Sakura's refusal after the first few days she was in the squad to be anywhere near Captain Kyoraku's presence that Nanao gave Sakura all her assignments for the day and few missions now and then.

Kyoraku found all this annoying more than anything. Sakura was the daughter of one of his best friends for crying out loud! He couldn't understand how Head captain Yamamoto expected him to be able to get the girl under control if he couldn't even get close to her, or even why Yamamoto had put him on that job instead of Ukitake. Kyoraku was pretty sure for a while that Ukitake would have been able to get through to her better. He remained in that opinion until Ukitake spilled the beans to Kyoraku that she was the adopted sister of his late lieutenant Kaien Shiba, and that she probably wanted to kill one of the Squad 13 members for his death. Ukitake also mentioning that to his knowledge that he and Sakura weren't even on speaking terms anymore after she screamed at him after Kaien's funeral. Then it made more sense that Yamamoto had stuck the girl in his care instead. Ukitake had probably told Yamamoto when he approached him with the idea.

"Hey, Sakura-chan?"

Sakura looked up from tying her sandals to Nanao. "Yes, Nanao-san?"

"I was wondering if you've ever thought of joining the Benevolent Society of Female Shinigami? Some of the members are a little eccentric but they grow on you." Nanao tentatively asked the younger woman unsure of how she would react.

"Benevolent Society of Female Shinigami? I've never heard of that before. What do they do?" Sakura asked as she finished with her sandal and straightened. Her head was tilted to the side a bit in curiosity and her eyebrows were drawn together in mild confusion by the name of the group.

"The Benevolent Society of Female Shinigami are advocates of equal opportunity and treatment for all Shinigami, women as well as the men. We do what we can to have our voices heard and to improve the state of the Soul Society as a whole. Many of the female captains as well as lieutenants are involved in our work and it would be nice if you were involved too, Sakura-chan. I'm sure you would be able to bring alot of attention to our efforts if anyone can." Nanao said her eyes shining brightly with pride and conviction as well as hope that Sakura would give a positive reply.

"Hmmm. . ." _What say you, Yuki Hana? Should we join them?_Sakura asked her Zanpakuto the fingers of her left hand lightly touching the soft blue fabric that wrapped around her hilt fondly. If Yuki Hana didn't think it would be a good idea than she wouldn't join._ **Yes, Sakura, we should. **_**You _need to make some friends, Girl, and not treat them like shit later. Some connections with members of other squads won't hurt you either, especially when that Kyoraku finally pushes enough of your buttons to make you leave Squad 8. _**Yuki Hana replied giving Sakura a piercing look in her mind's eye._** Some social interaction isn't going to kill you, you know. **Alright, alright! I get your point! _"Sure, I might join. Would it be possible for me to at least sit in on a meeting before I decide?"

"Of course it's possible! I'm sure you'll enjoy meeting everyone!" Nanao said with an uncharacteristic excitement to her that caused Sakura to momentarily rethink putting so much faith in Yuki Hana's choice. "The next meeting is three days from now in Squad 4's conference room, and if you want I can bring you there."

"Um. . . Alright. I suppose I should get to work on my tasks, so I'll see you later, Nanao-san." Sakura said as she waved good bye and headed out of the barracks to the section of the Seireitei she was assigned to cleaning duty of.

It still chafed her a bit that she was stuck sweeping most of the time but at least she didn't have to deal with Captain Kyoraku all that often when compared the first days when she was assigned the section almost right outside the Captain's office. Sakura sighed as she swept the broom to and fro across the street and tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. She had to wonder like the rest of the Squad how long it would be until she got too sick of Kyoraku or he of her and she transferred to a new squad. What squad would she be put in if she did transfer anyways? She hoped greatly that it wouldn't be Squad 12, most of what she heard about them creeped her out too much to want to work there. And knowing that Shoin was a member of Squad 11 took away any possible fun she might have had there. Squad 4 wasn't her forte so that would never happen. She doubted Ukitake would be willing to take her in to Squad 13, she knew with a pang of guilt, because of her way of behaving toward him, and she didn't want to be in the same squad as the one who killed Kaien.

--------

"Oh my god! She's so adorable!" Rangiku Matsumoto squealed the moment her eyes landed on Sakura and she instantly caught her in a squishing hug lifting the thin young woman off the floor. Sakura tried to break free of the slightly shorter woman's grasp to no avail.

"Help!" Sakura squeaked as Rangiku hugged her tighter robbing her of breath, and she turned pleading eyes to the other women in the room.

"Rangiku-chan, you're crushing her. Please let her go before you do some serious damage to her." A woman with kind eyes and dark hair pulled into a braid in front of her said gently coming to Sakura's rescue. Rangiku released Sakura with a pout, and Sakura instantly fell to the floor on her butt. "I'm sorry Rangiku had to greet you like that and I hope you don't hold it against the rest of us."

"But she's so cute. . ." Rangiku whined little a small child denied a toy.

"That doesn't give you the right to squish her like a bug, you know." stated a woman over a foot shorter than Sakura with most of her hair pulled into two braids behind her and the rest cut short enough to barely cover her ears with a shake of her head at the big breasted strawberry blonde. Then looked at Sakura. "Name's Soi Fon. Captain of Squad 2."

Introductions then went around the room as Sakura regained her feet until things came back around to her. "Sakura Yori of Squad 8." She finally said with a sheepish smile. "Thank you, Captain Unohana, for your help."

"No problem." Unohana replied with a gentle smile, "I've been hearing some things about you from one of my squad members and I have to say it's nice to finally see the object of such adoration."

_Ryuku-kun! _Sakura mentally groaned knowing he had to be the one talking about her.

"Ahem!" Nanao said and cleared her throat. "Shouldn't we be getting to today's business?"

Everyone reluctantly let the subject of Sakura drop for now, but she was sure to return to conversation at some point in the near future. Beyond a doubt she was the tallest person in the room with Rangiku close behind by an inch and her hair was tied back in to a pony tail by a light green ribbon that day. How she got to be such a gaint compared to the others was definitely going to be a mystery some of them were going to try to figure out later. Sakura took a seat in a corner after everyone else had settled with some relief even though she could see some of the gears turning in some of the other women's heads.

She listened intently as each issue was brought forth by Nanao and the group discussed it at length. By the end of the meeting she decided it wouldn't be quite so bad to join the group as long as Rangiku didn't squash her anymore.

* * *

A/N: Well, here's one of the filler chapters. Sorry it took so long but one of the reviews I got the other day gave me the kick in the pants to finish this. I just couldn't resist having Sakura get squished by Rangiku the moment the two meet XD. I now have a new poll on my profile where you guys can tell me who your favorites are of my OCs and feel free to tell me one you like even if it's not on my list. Believe it or not, you, the reader, hold a great deal of power over us writers. So please give me your reviews, character appearance requests, or just plain comments. If you think something is utterly rediculous or is off key let me know. I will accapt any critizisms as a constructive means to improve.

Hope to update again soon

~Sakura-Hime


	7. Chapter 6: Soul Candy & Decisions

Fate's Twisted Whims

a Bleach fanfiction

Written by: Sakura Onna

Chapter 6: Of Soul Candy and Decisions

"I vote the name should be changed to Soul Candy because it's cuter!" the pink haired president of the Shinigami Women's Association, Yachiru, yelled jumping out of her seat as she raised her hand with excitement. A ringing chorus of agreement arose from the group of assembled women with the exception of Sakura who sat with her fingers steepled in front of her, her eyes on one of the other members.

Sakura had not been the most pleased when Rukia Kuchiki had joined as the memory of her face covered in Kaien's blood was still fresh in her mind, but she was smart enough to hold her desire to harm the other young woman in check and observe her instead. Sakura felt a tinge of sadness to Rukia's spirit energy and though she more or less tried to hide it her eyes showed it as well. What did she have to be sad about? She had money and power as a member of the great Kuchiki clan. Surely she could buy whatever she wanted or at least talk one of her family members in to buying it for her. And to think she was such a midget too. It must have been the situation that had made Rukia seem taller at the time Kaien died.

Sakura was slouching in her seat with her elbows on the table itself, and her head was still way above Rukia's. Sakura scowled in Rukia's direction for a change being able to do so openly knowing she could easily pass it off as the topic of discussion. Honestly what difference did it make if the substitute soul pills were called gikongan or soul candy or whatever? They would still do the same jobs no matter what they were called.

"Moody-chan, what do you think?" Yachiru asked mere seconds before she pounced on Sakura interrupting her thoughts.

Sakura jumped the moment the lieutenant landed on her and she swore silently. She had let a bit too much of her focus go on the main source of her discontent, allowing the pink-haired child to startle her. She clinched her teeth still not very fond of the nickname Yachiru gave her, "I think this whole discussion is ridiculous! Who cares if it sounds cute or not? And don't any of you answer that! Things work better if they are named by what they do or how they work because then you don't have idiots using them the wrong way. Like for instance what would we do if someone just happens to find a container filled with 'soul candy' laying around and eats a bunch of it thinking it's actual candy? I don't think I need to make a list of people in each squad that would actually do that now, do I?"

"Moody-chan!" Yachiru cried in annoyance before hitting Sakura upside the head. "You're worse than normal today! I wanna call them Soul Candy and design different containers for them! All in favor of ignoring Moody-chan's meanieness?"

A ringing chorus of agreement arose around the room again followed by various shouted suggestions for the designs. Most of the women were smitten with the possible cute ideas running through their minds even with Sakura's valid argument against it. Sakura sighed accepting the inevitable outcome of this meeting. If anything bad happened because of the name of the damn substitute soul pills it wasn't going to be her fault. . .

-----------

"So, Shunsui, how's you-know-who doing these days?" Ukitake asked his friend taking a tentative sip of his tea.

"Meh. It's hard to tell since the girl won't let me get anywhere near her, but from what I've heard from Nanao-chan she's getting more talkative and she's become absorbed in to SWA. So it seems she's doing better, but I still haven't seen or heard any evidence indicating that she's going to drop the act any time soon." Kyoraku replied leaning back on his elbows and staring up at the sky above the rolling hill they sat on near Squad 13's barracks. "I still have to wonder when she's going to just come flat out with the fact that she's a Hideyori and get it over with."

Ukitake smiled faintly as he chuckled once in amusement at Kyoraku's words, set his tea aside and stared at the land before them. "She'll tell everyone when she's ready to. She doesn't really have that much of an incentive right now if you know what I mean. Sakura isn't that stupid, and Tadakatsu's death was more than a mite suspicious if you think about it."

"You saying it was someone from Squad 5 that killed him or something, Ukitake? That could be taken as heresy you know." Kyoraku said in shock of the words coming from the mild-mannered man beside him. Kyoraku sat bolt upright with wide eyes and stared at Ukitake, his jaw slightly dropped with his surprise.

"I know you aren't going to tell the Head-Captain on me, Shunsui, so you can wipe that look off your face. Besides I'm not the first one to be suspicious of it, remember? Hiei started trying to dig up what information he could related to his father's death before the fire claimed him and his whole family except for Sakura. What if it had been an inside job in both cases and it had simply been an accident that Sakura survived the fire? That possibility gives her more than enough reason to hide her identity from everyone, including us."

"So you're saying that when she feels like she can really trust someone with her life and that things are safe enough for her, she will reveal who she really is to them and not a moment before then?"

"Exactly."

"It's probably going to be a long wait then," Kyoraku stated settling back again and pulling his straw hat over his face, "and hell may freeze over before that time."

----------

A sudden crash and the door to the SWA meeting burst open. A young man with medium blond hair went flying across the room with a shriek and a taller young man with jet black hair stood in the doorway ready to charge after the shorter man until his golden eyes landed on Sakura, who was the first of the assembled group to stand. The dark haired man snarled at Sakura as the blond one hit the wall and fell to the floor with a whimper.

"Great. Just when I think I can finally get that little shit without the bitch interfering, she shows her ugly face again," the black haired man growls.

"Shion Yome. Just when I was starting to think a hollow had munched your ass too." Sakura replied coldly recognising him as quickly as he had her. "You never learn do you? I thought I made it clear before we left the Academy: Fuck with my friends or family, and I fuck your ass up worse than you did to them."

A hand calmly settled on Sakura's shoulder holding her back, and Captain Unohana stepped in front of her a smile still on her face. She gives Sakura a reassuring look before turning her eyes on Shoin. What ever it was that her eyes revealed to him scared the crap out of him and made him take a step back, "You came here as a patient the other day. You throwing one of my squad members around like a rag doll shows you are more than healed. In that case you may as well have just left instead. If you don't wish to be banned from the healing wards for the rest of this decade that is. And we are all well aware of just how well Squad 11 members are at staying uninjured for more than two weeks."

Shion's eyes widened even more and he retreated before the captain of Squad 4 could make good of her threat. Sakura thought of yelling an insult at his fleeing back but thought better of it as she glanced at some of the other SWA members out of the corner of her eye. The blond was just starting to pull himself up into a standing position with the wall when Unohana and Isane Kotetsu went over to him.

"Are you alright, Ryuku-kun?" Isane asked as they started looking him over.

"I-I'm fine, Captain, Lieutenant. Thank you," he stated doing his best to down play the pain in his side.

"Dummy, don't say something like that when you have at least two cracked, possibly even broken, ribs," Sakura called to Ryuku from where she stood by her assigned place seat at the table, her arms shoved in her sleeves. "And don't get that blank look! I remember how you looked when that happened to you in Academy."

"Sakura-san?" Ryuku's green eyes widened. "I didn't know you joined the Shinigami Women's Association."

"Ah, shut it!" Sakura bit out then left the room. She was happy Ryuku was more or less okay but her anger at Shion hadn't been given vent and if she stayed anywhere near Rukia as wound up as she was there was no guarantee she wouldn't go after her.

"Moody-chan," Yachiru muttered in the now silent room.

"Actually this is mild," Ryuku said with an odd half smile curving his lips. "She didn't destroy anything in her exit. But in all seriousness she does appear to be getting better with her anger. Before whenever she had an issue with someone for any reason she'd go after them. Just now she could have attacked two people she has a grudge against but she didn't. She let another deal with one and she walked away from the other."

"Huh? If that guy there was one of them who was the other?" Rangiku asked staring out the doorway to the hall.

Ryuku's smile remained in place and even widened a bit. "It isn't my place to say. When she wants to reveal her grudge to that person she will."

---------------

Rukia watched the way Sakura and Ryuku spoke and thought of Renji, instantly missing him. It was clear to Rukia that those two had a special bond of friendship. The kind born of shared struggle of some kind. As well as a secret understanding from him. Rukia had seen some of the venomous looks the other woman had given her over the past few months and had to wonder what her problem was. Honestly Rukia had never seen the slightly younger woman before she joined SWA in her life, so the looks confused her. As well as Ryuku's words that Sakura held a grudge against her. No Rukia didn't doubt that she was the one Ryuku was referring to. But what could she have done to the other woman to earn such spite? And why hadn't she confronted her with whatever her grievance was yet?

---------------

"Bloom and shatter, Yuki Hana!" Sakura cried releasing her zanpakuto's shikai. Water vapor in the air began to cool and condense behind her then freeze into two large flowers of ice. Once the flowers formed they shattered into countless shards of ice as sharp as any blade could become. Sakura flicked her left wrist and some of the shards immediately flew at a straw stuffed target in that direction, slicing it to pieces. Sakura flicked her right hand, still holding the intact zanpakuto, and more shards flew at another target. Then she visualized one of the targets behind her and on command shards annihilated it. She continued this process until she became able to fully control the ice shards with just her mind then continued her training session until she was on the verge of being able to control the shards with so little effort that it was almost as natural as breathing.

"My, my someone's rather upset," Kyoraku stated surveying the state of the practice field now that Sakura had gotten through with it, and took a sip of sake. He had to say he was impressed by the damage she had caused in just a few hours time. "Tell me what happened to put my little Sakura-chan in such a state."

"With all due respect, Captain, I am not _your little _fucking anything!" Sakura growled glaring at her captain silently daring him to come any closer to her.

"Ah, come on, Sakura-chan. You can tell me anything you want and I'm not going to gossip about it to anyone. Not even Take." Kyoraku knew his voice was being patronizing but he couldn't help it. He even shortened Ukitake's name hoping it would remind her of when she was younger. He then sat on the ground and patted his lap. "I'll even let you sit on my lap if you want."

Sakura felt a tick develop in her right eyebrow as her anger rose. Did he think she was a six year old or something?! She ground out in annoyance. "I am not a child."

"Sure you're not." Kyoraku just couldn't keep from saying. If she was going to be like this he may as well make a game out of it and have some amusement.

Sakura, though, wasn't in the mood to play. She raised her zanpakuto, "Bloom and shatter, Yuki-"

Before Sakura could finish the incantation, however, Kyoraku shunpoed back to his office. Sakura shook her head and walked away from the practice field muttering about stupid old men under her breath. It was late and her training to blow off some steam had made her hungry.

------------

Sakura sat bolt upright in her bed covered in a cold sweat. Her eyes darted to every corner and every wall of the small room she called her own in Squad 8's barracks. Her heart raced a million miles per hour and her breathing was on the verge of hyperventilation. Sakura forced her breathing to slow as she became sure that it was just a dream and not real that she had just experienced. She wasn't in danger or caught in a fire. She had been in the past but not now. She was as safe as could be considered. There were no dead bodies of her family in the room staring at her accusingly. She was alone with Yuki Hana by her bed. Sakura pulled Yuki Hana close to her for comfort like some might a teddy bear or security blanket. Yuki Hana whispered what comfort she could to the young woman knowing she was the only one she would turn to for such a thing in this point in time. . .

------------

"Sakura-san!" Nanao cried when she saw the dark purple smudges under the younger woman's eyes a few weeks later. "Are you alright? Have you been sleeping properly?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," Sakura lied with a fake smile. She instantly saw a very disapproving Yuki Hana with her hands on her hips in her mind's eye, and knew if she could Yuki Hana would shout 'No! No, she's not okay! She's lying! She's been being kept awake for most of the night for a while now by nightmares!' at the top of her lungs.

Nanao looked doubtful, "If you say so, Sakura-san, but I think you should go talk to someone in Squad 4 just in case. You don't look so good."

"Just had something's on my mind that's all," Sakura said dismissively with a wave of her hand.

----------

Kyoraku figured out ways to get under Sakura's skin with her sleep deprived state and annoyed her more than ever before. He also figured out how to get close enough to do so as well since her abilities were a bit stinted from her lack of sleep. Sakura eventually gave in trying to figure out her dreams herself and started to talk with Yuki Hana to see what she had to say about them, but what she said most was that none of it, the fire and the deaths, were Sakura's fault and she had to get that through her thick skull. Yuki Hana basically said that it was excess guilt that she had no reason to have that were causing the nightmares. This added to Sakura's exasperation.

"Hey, Sakura-san," Ryuku said as he cautiously poked his head around the corner of a building knowing she was there. Nanao had told him about Sakura's abnormal state and requested that he check in on her since it was more likely she would be more honest with him because of how long they had known each other.

"Huh? Oh, hey, Ryuku-kun," Sakura replied looking up from her work briefly before returning to it. Her voice and body language through her posture definitely spoke of weariness to him.

"How long?" Ryuku asked firmly.

"Huh? How long what?" Sakura asked confused looking up again her work halting.

"How long since you had a decent night's sleep? And don't lie either, I can see plain as day that it's been at least a week."

"A few weeks," Sakura admitted reluctantly. "It was the night after you got thrown across the assembly room that it started."

Ryuku's eyes softened and he gently brushed some stray hair out of her face, "What is it that is denying you your rest?"

"Nightmares. Very vivid ones that seem real at the time," Sakura replied softly turning her face away.

"It's alright, Sakura-san. I'm sure that even the Head-Captain has them now and then. There's nothing to be ashamed of. Besides have I ever told anyone your secrets?" Ryuku assured wrapping an arm around her shoulders as they both sat on the ground. He hadn't even told her that he knew who she really was, much less anyone else. "I'm all ears to whatever you need to say or get off your chest, Sakura-chan."

Sakura told of some of it but kept some of the finer details that could be dangerous to herself. She knew from the change in how Ryuku had addressed her that she had to set him straight some time and not give him any more encouragement. With the more affectionate honorific and a look back on the past Sakura could now see that Ryuku was starting to care about her in a way that she didn't. She would have to figure out some way of telling him without hurting him too badly because she did care about him as a friend. . .

-------------

She slept a bit better that night.

-----------

Then the next day Kyoraku pissed her off enough to decide she had enough.

"Nanao-san, I'm sorry but I can't take this much anymore!" Sakura stated placing her hands on Nanao's desk none too gently. "I don't know how you've managed to put up with _him _as long as you have, but I can't. I can't deal with a Captain like Kyoraku any longer. I need you to fill out the transfer papers for me."

Nanao was taken aback by Sakura's sudden request. Granted she knew that their captain had been more insufferable then ever lately. . ."Are you sure, Sakura-san?"

Sakura nodded taking her hands from the desk, "Yeah, I'm sure. I respect you, Nanao-san, but I can't stay under the command of a captain I don't any longer. I've stayed here these past 50 years because of my respect for you."

". . . Any preference for your new squad assignment?" Nanao asked resigned as she found the needed paperwork in a desk drawer.

"As long as it isn't Squad 1, 12, 5 or the same one Shion Yome's in, I'll take it." Sakura replied honestly. "Cheer up, Nanao-san. There's still the SWA meetings and stuff."

"Just to warn you it will take a few months for the paperwork to get figured out most likely. Probably won't be until some time in August that you'll receive your new squad assignment so you'll be with us still until it's all set up."

"Understood and that's fine with me."

---------

A few days later Rukia Kuchiki was sent to the human world on a mission to later return a criminal to be executed for transferring her shinigami powers to a human and out staying her time in the human world. At the same time Renji Abari was promoted to lieutenant of Squad 6, and later it would be he and his captain, Byakuya Kuchiki, that were sent to retrieve Rukia. Few quite expected what happened next. . .

* * *

A/N: Finally I'm putting an end to some of this stuff! Next chapter is Ryoka Invasion by Ichigo and crew so it is a transition. Then it will be Squad 6 time!!!! And for those of you who are worried that Sakura is going to be third seat or so in Squad 6, she's not going to get that high of a promotion. Especially right off the bat, right after the Aizen incident. Yes a lot more Byakuya on the horizon. As usual please give me your feed back and reviews!!

'Til next time,

Sakura Onna


End file.
